There are two major problems with pre-season friendlies. One is that they are usually about as entertaining as re-runs of Crossroads. The other is identifying just who is who owing to the large number of new players on offer. One member of the We Are Brighton team fell foul of the latter point on Saturday at Burgess Hill.

Seeking to take advantage of his somewhat drunkern state, his peers informed him that standing by the players tunnel watching the second half was none other than our new signing from Scunthorpe, Captain Matt Sparrow. Like a schoolboy on Christmas morning he bounded over and asked for a photo, before the man revealed that he wasn’t actually Matt Sparrow. Nonetheless, he was good enough to pretend that he was and pose for the photo anyway, in the process missing a goal which was thankfully flagged for offside

We’ve performed a little photoshoppery to cut down on the embarassment for the drunkern oaf in question, but the question still remains – does anybody know who this man actually is? A member of the back room staff? A Burgess Hill player? A member of the Burgess Hill back room staff? A man who thought that he would whip his shirt off and stand by the players tunnel in the hope that some poor drunkern fool would, on the guidance of his friends, mistake him for a professional footballer? Answers on a post card please. Some sort of prize may be offered. But I doubt it