Match Review – Brighton 1-2 Newcastle United


Setting the scene
First v second in the Championship in front of the Amex’s biggest league crowd of the season – which included Ant and Dec. That is how big a game this was. The Albion came into it buoyed by an excellent 3-0 win over fellow promotion chasers Reading at the weekend while Newcastle arrived having been held 2-2 at home by Bristol City.

The teams
Brighton were unchanged from that victory over the Biscuitmen despite Sebastien Pocognoli being withdrawn with a knock with five minutes to go. The risk of starting Pocognoli unfortunately didn’t pay off for the Albion as he went off here after less than 20 minutes with Fikayo Tomori coming on. Tomori struggled initially but eventually grew into the game in the second half and would no doubt have impressed watching Chelsea loan player technical coach (whatever the hell that is) Paulo Ferreira. As for Newcastle, Rafa the Gaffer’s attempted mind games over the fitness of the divisions top scorer Dwight Gayle proved to be him speaking bollocks in a very typical manner as Gayle was nowhere to be seen. Not that it particularly matters when you can call on back up such as Daryl Murphy, Aleksandar Mitrovic and Ayoze Perez. Benitez certainly earned his money last night, Perez scoring the winner a matter of minutes after coming on while his switch to a back three in the second half made it seem pretty inevitable what was about to happen once Newcastle had equalised.

Glenn Murray gave the Albion the lead with a penalty on 14 minutes. The box resembled a WWE Royal Rumble event from a corner as bodies wrestled with each other with referee Robert Madley eventualy deciding to penalise Ciaran Clark for hauling down Murray when 90% of the home end believed that he had in fact blown up for a foul on Toon keeper Karl Darlow. Murray made no mistake from the spot. If that goal was fortunate, then the equaliser was an utter freak show. David Stockdale came and made a weak punch from a corner which caused chaos, a mishit shot from Christian Atsu that looked like it was more of a danger to spectators in the East Stand rather than the net ended up hitting not one, but two Newcastle players – the second being Mohamed Diame, who claimed the goal – and looping up and into a gap around 2x2cm between the crossbar, post, Tomori and the back pedaling Stockdale. If that was ridiculous then the winner was quality, Matt Ritchie playing an outrageous 60 yard crossfield pass to Atsu who led Bruno on a merry dance before crossing for Perez.

Newcastle had 19 shots compared to the Albion’s nine. Stockdale made three superb stops from Yoan Gouffran, Atsu and Murphy before a bizarre incident in which he decided to pass the ball straight to Gouffran, leaving the Newcastle midfielder with a one-on-one which Stockdale then managed to save his own skin by blocking. Darlow had a less busy but equally impressive evening, keeping out a stonking volley from Bruno, an equally impressive one from Murray while Paul Dummett made an inspired block on the line from Lewis Dunk. Man of the Match
Shane Duffy had another superb evening including one crunching first half challenge that should be shown to kids up and down the country as the perfect example of a slide tackle. He also managed to pay tribute to Danny Cullip, throwing in a much missed Danny Cullip back header to Stockdale in the first half. For that alone, he deserves the award. Even if it was slightly disappointing that unlike whenever Cullip used to try it, it didn’t go totally awry or he didn’t follow it up with a big shout of “LETS ‘AVE A WINNER, SECOND BALL.”

Newcastle dominated possession, had more shots, more shots on targets and more corners so going on those statistics there could be little complaint over the final outcome. Benitez made the attacking subs that needed to be made – especially when switching to a back three – whereas for once there is the slightest criticism of Chris Hughton who introduced Beram Kayal in place of Sam Baldock immediately after the equaliser in a move that smacked of clinging on, when perhaps Solly March or Tomer Hemed made have at least given Newcastle something to think about defensively. Jonjo Shelvey may be a horrible racist but he ran the game while Ritchie showed what £10m can buy you. When you see Newcastle with two players that good, it makes you appreciate how well we’ve done to go toe-to-toe with them this season in the race for the title. And just because we lost last night, it doesn’t mean that race is over. Newcastle still have an incredibly tough run in while most of our remaining home games are now against sides in the bottom half of the table. One swallow does not a summer make and six points from the next two away games – more than achievable given the opponents are struggling Nottingham Forest and Rotherham – and this result could be all but forgotten about.

Match Preview – Brighton v Newcastle United


Newcastle – the team
Newcastle were understandably everyone’s favourites to win the Championship at the start of the season. They have a squad packed with Premier League quality players, one of the most famous managers in the world who was won nearly every trophy going and a shed load of money. That they come to the Amex in second spot is a glowing testament to the miracles that Chris Hughton continues to pull off at the Albion. The Toon travel south with the best away record in the division while the Albion have the best home record in the division. They are the top scorers. We have the best defence. Got 0-0 written all over it, hasn’t it?

Newcastle – the place
Newcastle is one of those rare places where virtually everyone from the city supports the local team. There are two universities and it is a fantastic party city as anybody who has ever had the misfortune to be forced to watch Geordie Shore by their girlfriend will be able to tell you. In a touching tribute to Sydney, Newcastle opened it’s own version of the Sydney Harbour Bridge which is one of the cities most famous landmarks.

Newcastle – the people
The Toon Army are famous for watching games of football in minus conditions without any shirts on which is frankly bloody mad. The countries second most popular entertainment duo after the Chuckle Brothers are Ant and Dec who are famous Geordies while the city has also given the world the pop star Cheryl Cole (surname may no longer be accurate), Robert Stephenson who is largely considered to be the greatest inventor of the 19th century and chess grandmaster Horatio Caro. He invented the opening Caro-Kann Defence, a move that we ourselves have utilised in many games of chess down the years.

A good memory of Newcastle at home
Given that Newcastle have spent the last 20 years or so being good while Brighton have spent it being rubbish, this is their first league visit to the city in 25 years. We have met twice in the FA Cup however in back-to-back seasons, the best of those coming with a 1-0 win through a Mike Williamson own goal in the fourth round stage of the 2011/12 season.

A bad memory of Newcastle at home
It’s fair to say that Newcastle enjoyed their games with the Albion in the 1961/62 season. After triumphing 5-0 at St James Park in October, they were 4-0 winners at the Goldstone Ground five months later. Bugger.

Familiar names
There are no Newcastle players with any links to the Albion although they did of course try and sign Anthony Knockaert in the summer. Thankfully, the Albion have belatedly realised that the best way to get promoted is not by selling your best players every year somebody makes a bid for them and he remains at the Amex.

It looks as though the divisions top scorer Dwight Gayle will miss this game with a hamstring injury, leaving the Rafa the Gaffer the problem of only being able to call upon one of Aleksandar Mitrovic, Daryl Murphy or Ayoze Perez as his replacement. Jonjo Shelvey is arguably the best midfielder in the division and certainly the most racist while Matt Ritchie was a stand out performer in the Premier League last season for Bournemouth – something he celebrated by dropping down a division to move to Newcastle. He always seems to play well against us as well so expect good stuff from him.

It’s not like us to sit on the fence when it comes to a big game against a promotion rival and so we are backing the draw at 9/4. Both teams will no doubt be attempting to win the game and that has so far this season led to a corner fest. You can take there to be over 10.5 corners at 11/10.

Match Preview – Brighton v Reading


Reading – the team
Reading took the “appoint former big name Premier League player with no managerial experience in England” approach in the summer when handing the job to Jaap Stam. Unlike the total cock up that was Sami Hyypia’s reign as Albion boss, this has paid off handsomely with the Biscuitment launching an unlikely promotion bid. They currently sit fourth in the table, eight points behind us but having played one game more. If they are to secure a third promotion to the Premier League via automatic means rather than the lottery of the play offs, then this looks like a must win game for them.

Reading – the place
Reading is the largest settlement in the United Kingdom without city status which is a fact that will surely aid you in a pub quiz at some point. It is famous for its brewing trade which is quite ironic as on most of our visits there the pubs have tended to be crap. The Reading Festival is the second largest music festival of its kind in the country after Glastonbury which is great news for fans of music of illegal substances.

Reading – the people
Surprisingly, Reading is somewhat of a literature and intellectual behometh. Jane Austen went to school there, Oscar Wilde was imprissoned there and Jeremy Kyle grew up there. Sir John Madjeski made his fortune in Reading, largely thanks to the Auto Trader magazine and is of course not one egotistical bastard at all having named the Biscuitments home ground the Madjeski Stadium.

A good memory of Reading at home
It’s not just a recent development that has seen Alan Pardew become a bit of pratt. He was one as long ago as 2002 when he bought his Reading side to Withdean to face Peter Taylor’s Albion in a pivotal game at the top of the third tier. The Albion ended up winning 3-1 on a Monday night thanks to goals from Bobby Zamora, Junior Lewis and Steve Melton. They would go onto win the title ahead of Reading that season which led to an entertaining meltdown from Pardew who claimed his side were easily the best in the division. We’ll just ignore the SIX points we won the league by as well, Alan.

A bad memory of Reading at home
The following season was pretty depressing as Pardew had his revenge of sorts, winning 1-0 through John Salako in a game that was a terrible advert for football.

Familiar names
Reading will have a former Albion goalkeeper between the sticks in the shape of Ali al-Habsi. The hapless Hyypia made a lot of ridiculous loan signings but al-Habsi has to be the biggest of the lot, playing just once away at AFC Bournemouth. He missed the next game through Hyypia having too many loan players in the matchday squad and then buggered off to some international tournament with Oman. Lewis Grabban’s name may also ring a bell, the Bournemouth striker who used the Albion’s interest in him in the January 2014 transfer window to negotiate a vastly improved contract at Dean Court. With us ending up with David Rodriguez as a result.

Yann Kermogant is a bloody big danger to opposition players if that horror tackle he produced on Liam Rosenior at the Madjeski back in August is anything to go by. Rosenior had to undergo surgery on his ankle ligaments as a result and hasn’t played for the first team since. Reading supporters showed real class that day by booing him off the pitch.

Our games on Sky this season have a ridiculous record for producing cards – and not all of them from Lewis Dunk. There have been reds shown in the live games against Huddersfield, Sheffield Wednesday – three of them – Queens Park Rangers and Newcastle United off the top of our heads. Over 55 booking points is available at 15/8 with SkyBet.

QPR away confirmed as a Friday night


Brighton and Hove Albion’s trip to Queens Park Rangers has finally been confirmed by Sky Sports as being granted the honour of live television coverage.

We reported this morning that the QPR programme for last night’s have with Wigan Athletic had the fixture down for Friday 7th April with a 7.45pm kick off at Loftus Road. That has now been released publicly. The original game had been due to take place on Saturday 8th at 3pm.

This should come as little surprise as Sky seem to like this fixture for some reason. They broadcast our 4-0 win back in December as well as the 2-2 at Loftus Road last season.

The change leaves us with just two Saturday 3pm games between now and then – away at Nottingham Forest on March 4th and at home to Blackburn Rovers on April 1st. Whether we have any more after the visit to QPR is doubtful as the promotion race reaches what is looking like being a dramatic climax.

Another away game set to be moved by Sky


Great news people. It looks as though another Brighton and Hove Albion away game is set to be moved by Sky Sports.

In last nights programme for Queens Park Rangers win over Wigan Athletic, our visit to Loftus Road was listed as taking place on Friday 7th April at 7.45pm with that most welcome little Sky Sports symbol next to the fixture.

There has been no confirmation from any of Sky, the Football League, QPR or the Albion with the game still being down as for Saturday 8th April at 3pm on all those sources.

Sky have so far only released the games they will be broadcasting in the Football League up until April 5th as they are now working on a rolling basis with five weeks notice of a change in order to be able to pick the games most important to the promotion race as the season draws to a close.

That means that if this game is in fact due to be moved we won’t hear about it officially for at another couple of weeks, which is really helpful if you fancied planning the trip in advance.

Thankfully, it is only in London so wouldn’t throw up the travel related chaos that the late movement of Nottingham Forest to a Monday night did last season for example.

We had heard from a reliable source some weeks ago that there was a very strong possibility that this game would be moved and that now looks to be the case. Just don’t expect to have it confirmed until we are well into March.

Match Preview – Barnsley v Brighton


Barnsley – the team
At the start of January 2016, Barnsley looked like very real candidates for relegation to League Two, and that was before manager Lee Johnson left to join Bristol City. He was replaced by the wonderfully named Paul Heckingbottom and fast forward 13 months and they have won the League One play-offs, the EFL Trophy and look like dark horses for a spot in the Championship top six this season. They sit six point behind Sheffield Wednesday who occupy the final play off spot. All of which is excellent news if you’ve got a spread bet on them achieving more than 55 points this season as we have. Although we will happily trade another three towards profit if it means the Albion picking up their first win at Oakwell in 26 years.

Barnsley – the place
As we’ve just said, it’s been a generation since we won away at Barnsley and for that reason it is one of those that you see on the fixture list and think “sod that”. One reason to make the journey however is to sample the Barnsley Chop, a cut of meat taken from taken right across the loin which becomes a double sided chop. It is sometimes referred to as a saddle chop as it is cut across the saddle producing the double loin chop with a little under fillet all in one. It has strong links to the mining and glass making industries while one author summed it up rather well with the phrase is “Barnsley is a couple of hundred miles north of London geographically, but several time zones away culturally.”

Barnsley – the people
We’ve made Barnsley sound all rather grim other than the prospect of getting a bloody good cut of meat. But Barnsley College has provided the world with some huge names in the music world including The Arctic Monkeys and The Darkness. Former Strictly Come Dancing winner Darren Gough and talk show host Michael Parkinson also come from the town.

A good memory of Barnsley away
Buying a round and getting change from a tenner is about as good as trips to Barnsley have been in our lifetime.

A bad memory of Barnsley away
The 2012 was a glowing example that the intelligence of South Yorkshire police generally does rival that of a marrow. There were what felt like hundreds of offices on the streets and we even had our own little escort trying to keep us in one pub rather than going from venue to venue in case we kicked off. This was all very over the top for the last game of the season. With both teams stuck in mid table. And a midday kick off. On a Sunday. You’d have thought their time and taxpayers money could have been better spent covering up a disaster they caused. Or tracking down a mass pedophile ring down the road in Rotherham. Or planning how to get publicity from arresting Cliff Richard.

Familiar names
None. Which is hardly surprising as we should be doing all we can to avoid buying anything Barnsley try and sell us. The reason? The last player to move from Oakwell to the Amex was Chris O’Grady. They mugged us off good and proper there.

Sam Winnall had been the Tykes top scorer but he left for Sheffield Wednesday in January as part of Wednesday’s plans to stockpile every single good striker in the Championship at Hillsborough. Most of the goal burden now falls on Adam Armstrong who is on-loan from Newcastle so expect him to try and do his parent club a favour while Marley Watkins has six from midfield.

Both Chris Hughton and Shane Duffy have been doing their best Donald Trump impressions this week by stressing the need to make the Albion defence great again. If that is their focus, we’re expecting the sort of dogged rearguard performance that epitomised tough away games last season and with that in mind the draw at 13/5 looks good value.

Match Review – Brighton 1-1 Ipswich Town


Setting the scene
Back-to-back home games against teams in the bottom half of the table were a great opportunity for the Albion to get points on the board and their season back on track after a minor wobble. Having comfortably dispatched of Burton Albion 4-1 on Saturday, hopes were high that all those who had sacked off seeing their partners, a set meal for two and a bunch of overpriced flowers in favour of spending the night with Mick McCarthy would be rewarded with another three points.

The teams
Given the manner of the weekends victory, it was little surprise to see Chris Hughton keep faith with the same starting XI as that which hammered Burton. That was in stark contrast to Ipswich who had a few selection issues not least in defence where they were without both of their first centre backs of Steven Taylor and Christophe Berra who picked up injuries in their 1-0 win at Aston Villa on Saturday. So you can add “reserve centre back pairing” to the reasons as to why this was such a disappointing point.

Ipswich took the lead inside of 10 minutes through Luke Chambers. The Albion’s marking was non-existant with the defender meeting a beautiful free kick delivery from Tom Lawrence with a free header. It was a brave goal from Chambers as he got clattered by David Stockdale for his troubles. That meant lengthy treatment and the very sporting reaction of the The Amex crowd of booing him as he slowly trudged off the pitch having looked like he may have actually been dead minutes earlier. The equaliser arrived on the half hour mark, Bruno being pulled down in the box with Tomer Hemed dispatching the resulting penalty. That makes it eight goals for Hemed since we spoke to him in The Blind Busker on New Years Eve so yes, we will be claiming that whatever drunken bollocks we came out with is behind his recent run of excellent form.

The game could have gone either way and Stockdale was certainly the busier of the two goalkeepers. Ipswich’s front two of Lawrence and David McGoldrick proved to be a real handful and the latter drew a brilliant reaction save from Stockdale in the first half. He then had to deny Lawrence with his feet minutes after the restart before the Albion box resembled a pinball machine; Chambers hitting the post and McGoldrick then seeing his rebound effort somehow diverted by Steve Sidwell onto the crossbar. It wasn’t just the frame of the goal at the south end of the Amex that was working hard as in the final seconds Glenn Murray contrived to rattle the bar at the other end with the goal at his mercy. There were also strong Albion appeals for a penalty when Solly March went down in the box. Half the ground thought it was a blatant spot kick, the other half thought he merely slipped. We’ll leave it up to you to make your mind up, but it is fair to say Roger East was woeful for both sides throughout the evening. Man of the Match
This was a game that showed how reliant we are on a certain core of three or four players – the likes of Anthony Knockaert, March and Sam Baldock – to play well if the team as a whole are going to play well. This was a rare occasion when none of them did and as a result it was a bit of a struggle. Sidwell had another fine game in the centre of midfield, Stockdale made some vital stops again but Lewis Dunk was excellent bar another ridiculous booking for his ever growing collection.

We love an overreaction and a bloody good moan up as much as the next person but some of the bedwetting that went on as a result of this draw was completely over the top. Ipswich were what you would expect from a McCarthy side – well organised, compact and doing everything they could to get a result – and it was one of those nights where we couldn’t find a way to overcome that. There were plenty of attempts to shift the blame onto Mr East but at the end of the day he wasn’t the one responsible for Chamber’s having a completely free header, nor did he hit the bar at the end with a gilt edged opportunity. Our promotion chances aren’t suddenly over because we’ve drawn with a midtable team in arguably the most competitive division in the country. If we are six points adrift of the top two in a months time after facing the likes of Barnsley, Reading, Newcastle, Derby and Leeds then by all means get those self absorbent sheets onto the bed. But there is no need to panic quite yet.

Match Preview – Brighton v Ipswich Town


Ipswich – the team
It’s been one of those seasons which you suspect will be instantly forgettable once it is over for Ipswich Town fans. Too good to go down but not good enough to challenge the top six, Mick McCarthy’s side are pretty much marooned in mid table with not a lot going on. They remain the Championship’s longest serving club having been in the division for 2002 which is a remarkable record when you consider the turnover of clubs even since the Albion were promoted into the division in 2011. We of course know not to take them likely however having lost at home to Ipswich last season in that poor post-Christmas run of form which ultimately went a long way to ensuring we aren’t playing Premier League football this season.

Ipswich – the place
Ipswich is one of England’s oldest towns, if not the oldest. That claim to fame is disputed by Colchester but seeing as the Essex town was left uninhabited for some time, Ipswich can rightly be described as the oldest inhabited town in the country. As if that wasn’t enough, in 2007 it won an award for being the Cleanest Town in Britain while the tallest building in East Anglia – The Mill, which reaches to a whopping 23 storeys – can be found in the Waterfront area.

Ipswich – the people
Ipswich’s most famous celebrity fan is arguably Charlie from Busted. The town itself has given the world some great people down the years, including Henry VIII’s Lord Chancellor Thomas Wolsey, landscape painter George Frost and Steve Wright – the serial killer as opposed to popular host of BBC Radio 2’s Steve Wright in the Afternoon.

A good memory of Ipswich at home
The Tractor Boy’s first visit to The Amex was particularly enjoyable after they rocked up with that infamous “Money can’t buy everything” banner and were promptly smashed 3-0 thanks to an Ashley Barnes brace and one from Craig Mackail-Smith. The very definition of an egg on face moment.

A bad memory of Ipswich at home
We’ve already mentioned last seasons 1-0 defeat on a Tuesday night but it really was a terrible result. While the 90 minutes of football may have been utter crap, it wasn’t a complete waste of an evening as one member of the managed to pull in Shooshh afterwards via the quite unique method of buying 11 £1 vodka and lemonads and using them to explain to a girl why Chris Hughton’s decision to use a 4-2-3-1 formation was the wrong one.

Familiar names
Leon Best is on the books of Ipswich but McCarthy came out a few weeks ago and said he wouldn’t play again for the club. Which is bloody ironic given in the half a season he spent with the Albion he might as well not have bothered turning up either.

Having sold Daryl Murphy to Newcastle in the summer, goals have been a bit of problem for Town and their top scorer is Tom Lawrence who has eight so far this season while Grant Ward has five from midfield this season.

There has been just one goal in our last two meetings with Ipswich and you can guarantee a McCarthy side will be well organised. It will probably be similar to Cardiff’s visit to The Amex, in which case under 1.5 goals at a best priced 2/1 looks good value.

Match Review – Brighton 4-1 Burton Albion


Setting the scene
Were the wheels coming off Brighton’s promotion push? That was a genuine question in the build up to this game following defeats to Preston North End, Lincoln City and Huddersfield Town in the last month, not to mention relying on a last gasp equaliser to rescue a point from Brentford away. There were plenty of excuses for those failings however – but failure to beat struggling Burton Albion at home would have been a real concern. For Nigel Clough’s side, victory at The Amex would’ve given them their first ever back-to-back wins in the second tier of English football.

The teams
Chris Hughton said in the week there was a chance that Dale Stephens and Sam Baldock might recover from injury to play. Given the Albion’s record with medical prognosis under Hughton, that quite justifiably led some supporters to speculate that the pair were in fact clinically dead. It was nice surprise then to see them both in the starting line up along with Lewis Dunk who returned from his latest suspension, Solly March and Tomer Hemed who was rewarded for his excellent form since the turn of the year with a start in place of Glenn Murray.

Hemed justified his inclusion by opening the scoring 12 minutes into the first half. Anthony Knockaert was the architect, making a miracle recovery from a reaction to a tackle a few minutes earlier than suggested his leg had been hacked off to dance his way down the line and cross for Hemed to sweep home. The first half was a borefest from that point on which was in stark contrast to the second which sparked into life with just two minutes gone with a lot of supporters (ourselves included) finishing off pints in the warmth of the concourse. As a result, we are unable to tell you anything about it other than that it was scored by Sam Baldock and that trying to consume two pints and a glass of white wine at half time is a really poor idea. Hemed added the third from the penalty spot after March caused utter chaos which could only be ended when he was fouled in the box. Burton pulled one back with a quite brilliant Michael Kightly free kick but Murray ensured that the game would end up being won by three clear goals when Murray headed home yet another Knockaert cross.

This was a clinical display from the Albion with five shots on targer resulting in four goals. Perhaps the best chance that wasn’t converted fell to Chuba Akpom who showed a decent amount of composure inside the box but dragged his final effort wide of the post. Chances for Burton were few and far between with Marvin Sordell forcing David Stockdale into his only real save of note, a smart stop after Dunk had been skinned by the former Bolton striker. Man of the Match
Hemed’s brace ensured he took the award from the match sponsors but Solly March was excellent all afternoon with a special mention to Steve Sidwell who put in one his best shifts of a season that constantly makes you forget he is approaching pensionable age for a footballer.

Three points was the minimum here and the Albion duly delivered to return to the top of the table for a couple of hours before Newcastle won away at Wolves. Although Stevie Wonder could see that changes were inevitable, making five in fell swoop was bold for a manager who is generally quite conservative so credit to Hughton for doing that and it paying off handsomely. Follow it up with three points on Tuesday against Ipswich Town and the last month can hopefully be forgotten about before tough games against a plethora of top 10 sides. As they were singing in the North Stand afterwards (while banging bins like they were drums), we’re on our way…

Match Preview – Brighton v Burton Albion


Burton – the team
Burton Albion have had a fairytale rise through the divisions, going from the Northern Premier Division to the Championship in 15 years. It’s not been done by spending an obscene amount of money either but by employing promising young managers such as Nigel Clough (now in his second spell), that bloke that is married to Karen Brady, Gary Rowett and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink. It would be bloody brilliant for football as a whole if they were able to stay up this season – although they can start winning some points to climb away from 21st after this weekend.

Burton – the place
As you may have guessed from the clubs nickname being the Brewers, Burton is famous for it’s beer industry which needless to say has left our visit in September as one of the best away days of the season so far. We were able to try lots of beers brewed in the town itself such as Coors Light and Carling.

Burton – the people
According to some article on Google we couldn’t be bothered to read, The Stig from Top Gear is one of Burton’s most famous celebrity fans. We’ll take their word for it. Notable residents of the town include Sir Oswald Moseley who was the leader of the British Union of Fascists and Anthony Hardy, a serial killer known as The Camden Ripper. These are but a small example of the people who come from Burton as on our visit there we could safely come to the conclusion that not all the residents we met where fascists or murderers. They were actually bloody friendly.

A good memory of Burton at home
This will be Burton’s first ever visit to Brighton. We could have put in some witty story about a time we went to a Burton store in Brighton but your correspondent doesn’t think he has even done that before.

A bad memory of Burton at home
That of course means there are no bad memories either. The movie The Voyage starring Richard Burton was pretty shit though.

Familiar names
The Rock look-a-like Chris O’Grady was of course checked into the Smackdown Hotel in Burton in the summer for a season long loan. Part of that agreement means he is unable to play against us which is just as well as you know – depsite the fact he has just one goal in 25 games – he would be 100% guaranteed to score.

It’s two midfielders who are probably Burton’s biggest threats, with Lloyd Dyer and Jamie Ward having five and four goals respectively so far this season. Defensive wise they are very well organised as we saw when having to rely on a Tomer Hemed penalty for the only goal of the game up at the Pirelli Stadium.

There is little value in banking on a Brighton win but given the form he tends to display at home, Anthony Knockaert is good odds to score anytime at 2/1. O’Grady can be backed to score at a best priced 21/5 but seeing as he isn’t actually allowed to play we would suggest avoiding that one.

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