brighton logo
 
 

The Amex Loan Strikers

The Amex has brought many great things to the plate for Brighton and Hove Albion. A stadium with an actual roof. The chance to lose two stone in weight every time you climb to the top of the West Upper. A supporters bar you have to pay 12 to get into.

Perhaps best of all however is that since moving into that beautiful stadium at the foot of the Downs, the club have shown great determination to allow us to watch every single striker who has ever played professional football by signing them on loan.

Chuba Akpom is the latest in a long line of strikers – ten to be exact - the majority of which have been pretty abject. Akpom himself looks terrible (expect him to score two goals every game from now on).

Struggling to remember all nine? Fear not, for here is a handy guide to the good, the bad and the Obika…

Billy Paynter
2011-12 season. 10 games, 0 goals.

We’d love to know what Gus Poyet was smoking when he spent all summer chasing Billy Paynter as a Glenn Murray replacement. He eventually landed his man from Leeds in October 2011, with a fantastic return of 10 games and zero goals. Frankly it was a surprise not to see him running at Cheltenham recently.
Sam Vokes
2011-12 season. 15 games,
3 goals.
His 15 game spell at the Amex was his sixth loan in three seasons. Signed from Wolves, he managed three goals in 15 games. Now a Premier League regular with the Burnley which, if you’d suggested at some point during his time at the Albion, would probably have got you sectioned.
Leroy Lita
2013-14 season. 5 games. 1 goal.

He managed just five substitute appearances for the sake of one goal. His lack of game time probably had something to do with the fact he arrived looking like he’d been to an all you can eat buffet with Sam Allardyce. Gains positive points for having the shiniest head of any Brighton player in recent memory.
Jonathan Obika
2013-14 season. 8 games. 1 goal.

It seemed hard to comprehend the rumour that he was signed purely because he was mates with Nathan Jones. Then he started playing and it looked extremely plausible given that, if we were friends with Nathan Jones, then we'd have put in performances on a par with him. Think THAT overhead kick.
Jesse Lingard
2013-14 season. 15 games, 3 goals.

The on-loan Manchester United striker helped the Albion into the play offs before going on to become a regular at Old Trafford under both Louis van Gaal and Jose Mourinho. He has even played for England although that probably says more about the current state of English football than him beinga world class forward.
Darren Bent
2014-15 season. 5 games, 2 goals.

Sami Hyypia seemed determined to break the world record for number of players loaned in. Surprisingly, the only striker he bought in was Darren Bent who scored twice in five games. Hyypia was soon gone and Chris Hughton – in a rare mistake – decided he’d rather sign the next man on the list…
Leon Best
2014-15 season. 13 games, 0 goals.

Yes, apparently Hughton decided he would rather have Leon Best than Darren Bent. Rather like deciding you would rather spend the night with Edwina Currie than Emma Watson. If you look up the term “mercenary footballer who will take money but can’t be bothered”, it would simply sure a picture of Best.
James Wilson
2015-16 season. 25 games, 5 goals.

One who you could argue was a success given the importance of the goals he got. Despite that, he seemed to divide opinion among supporters which seemed odd given that he bought what many of us have done in a Sunday League environment into a televised second tier match, by being sick on the pitch before kick off.
Glenn Murray
2016-17 season. 22 games, 15 goals.

Five years after leaving on a free for Crystal Palace as Poyet didn't rate him, Glenn Murray returned on loan from Bournemouth. He instantly showed what we'd been missing for the past half a decade with 15 goals in 22 games before the Albion splashed 3m to make him a permanent addition.
Chuba Akpom
2016-17 season.

Every Arsenal fan we've ever spoken to seems to think Akpom has “potential”. Well based on what we’ve seen so far, it’s no wonder they are the current laughing stock of football. Cue him getting that promotion winning goal in the 89th minute at Villa Park…