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Borussia Dortmund style Brighton and Hove Albion Party?

Part number 2134 of why Germany football is better than English comes from Borussia Dortmund, where they have taken a novel approach to the idea of a fans Christmas party.

Jurgen Klopp's men have made what can only be described as a disastrous start to the Bundesliga season and have gone from a perennial title challenges to propping up the table. Yet, rather than release a statement stating all is well as they are hitting financial targets, BVB came up with another brilliant way to make up to the fans for their on pitch woes.

Their players decided to go behind the bar at a Christmas Party, with the likes of Mats Hummels, Marco Reuss and Roman Weidenfeller pulling pints for the 1,000 fans in attendance to say sorry for their poor form and thank you for the support.

With large sections of the Brighton and Hove Albion crowd becoming extremely disgruntled with the way this season is going at The Amex, could a similar stunt work for the Seagulls? WeAreBrighton.com imagines what would happen if some of this season squad ended up behind the bar at our Christmas shindig...

David Stockdale
Starts off looking extremely dodgy with an alarming habit of spilling your pint everywhere. He would gradually grow into the role however as time wore on, although there would remain big question marks over his table service, often delivering drinks to the wrong table.
Christian Walton
Receives a surprise call up when David Stockdale goes on his tea break. Spends his short time behind the bar pulling a series of absolutely perfect pints and earning rave reviews from the customers, despite which he is sent back to glass collecting duties as soon as Stockdale returns.
Inigo Calderon
Pulls some of the best looking pints among the members of staff despite offering a thinning head but they taste nothing more than average. He does however do a lot of fundraising for the pub and his bar work is therefore deemed far better than the reality of it actually is.
Lewis Dunk
One of the pubs few success stories after coming through a few tricky years as a hotel barman to become the best person currently behind the bar. This hasn't gone unnoticed with rumours that the big boys of Wetherspoons and Walkabout are looking at hiring his services. Being a selling pub, you can bet he will be off before too long.
Jake Forster-Caskey
Wanders around behind the bar with most of the customers unable to work out what he is actually offering. This makes people have a somewhat irrational hatred of him, despite the fact he is a regular alongside far more illustrious barman in the mightily successful under 21 master brewers squad.
Joao Teixeira
Looks the absolute business and an excellent addition when working the pub garden during the summer months. Once the cold and wet of winter arrives, he disappears into the cellar to change a barrel and isn't seen again until sometime in the spring when the weather improves.
Paddy McCourt
Paddy McCourt behind a bar? Don't be silly, he'd just end up drinking everything for himself.
Kazenga LuaLua
See's a long queue building at the bar and decides with his overinflated sense of importance to try and serve every single person himself. This works with one or two customers, but nonetheless he receives a lot of Tweets after closing congratulating him on the job he's done and retweets every single one.
Kemy Agustien
Bought in at great expense in order to improve the quality behind the bar. He would serve a couple of pints, eat every single available bag of pork scratchings and then spend the rest of the time taking selfies of himself, watching the queue of thirsty customers grow and grow but seemingly not giving a toss.
Craig Mackail-Smith
Gets more drinks orders wrong than he gets right as he works harder than anyone running from one end of the bar to the other. Despite this, at closing time he walks around the pub thanking every single customer for coming and for that reason remains one of the most popular members of staff.
Adrian Colunga
Bar skills are questioned by several patrons for pouring their pints too quickly (remember, good things like Guinness come to those who wait). Angered by this, he decides to go and kick several customers for which he is understandably and quite rightly sent home from work early.
Sam Baldock
A highly decorated cocktail waiter at a previous bar before he was hired for a big money fee. Unfortunately, his new employees don't actually serve cocktails and his skillset isn't really suited to pouring pints of ale, making him look totally out of his depth at the new pub.
Sami Hyypia
Despite being manager, he sits there looking grumpy while watching the queue at the bar grow ever longer while doing nothing. Eventually realises that having Bruno and Joe Bennett stood miles in front of the bar is not a good ploy in terms of getting people served.
Nathan Jones
Started off in customers bad books after a previous incident in which he stood behind a bar screaming and gesturing with joy as last orders was called rather than serving anyone. These days spends a lot of time shouting and waving his arms in the air at his staff, most of whom tend to totally ignore him.
Tony Bloom
The owner invested a large amount of his personal fortune into turning the pub into one of the best in the city. Unfortunately, in order to cut costs after that he employed staff with no arms who couldn't actually serve pints, leaving it top of the scale facility wise but bottom of the scale service wise.
David Burke
Stock manager spent a long time profiling all the drinks that were needed, but then couldn't find any so went out and bought soft drinks only which he seemed to think was fine. Then left the bar management in charge of attempting to turn this water into wine.
Paul Barber
After declaring the pub to be "nightclub ready", he ended up surprised that people expected to be entering a nightclub. That was far from the case, with the selling of the DJ booth and replacement with a DAB radio meaning that underinvestment had infact turned it from a good pub into a grotty Working Mens Club..

Would you like to see Brighton and Hove Albion players pulling pints for fans this Christmas? Anybody we've missed off the list that you think could contribute to the workings of an Albion pub?


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