you've been lucky enough to be living on Mars for the
last six month, then you will be aware that there is a
referendum coming up to decide on whether Britain
remains a member of the European Union.
While this is an
important decision, we are frankly bored of the
scaremongering and general claptrap that has been coming out
of both sides of the argument. So bored in fact that we have
come up with our own vote on the question of Britain v EU -
namely, if we go back to the turn of the century and select
a team of British players to take on a team of players from
the EU, who would come out on top?
16 of the EU's
member states are represented in one of the teams while
we've given equal weighting to all four parts of the United
Kingdom with each having four representatives on Team
Britain, even though those has meant we've had to wheel out
Joe Dolan (remember him? Exactly).
You won't find
any talks about how World War III will kick off if we leave
or of how the NHS will go down the swanny and we'll all be
speaking Polish or Czech if we stay (although being able to
chat up Jiri Skalak's missus could be considered a huge
positive). Just simple facts as we ask you who would win
this meeting of 32 of the finest and not-so-finest Albion
players of the last 16 years - Team Britain or Team EU? You
can cast your vote at the bottom of the ballot paper.
Goalkeeper - Mark Walton
Miserable goalkeeper who liked shouting. For someone
so fat, he wasn't actually that bad.
Goalkeeper - Tomasz Kusczcak Poland
Had two great seasons before being released. Some
say the best keeper we had. Oscar didn't think so.
Right back - Paul Watson
Best set piece taker in the world. He could pick out
Bobby Zamora's head in a crowd of a million people.
Right back - Bruno
Our reigning WAB Player of the Season. His head is
attached upside down but he remains a cult hero.
Centre back - Gordon Greer
A passionate Scot. One of the best defenders and
club captains in the Albion's history.
Centre back -
Young defender played a few times at left back
despite apparently being a centre half. He wasn't
Centre back -
A passionate Englishman. One of the best defenders
and club captains in the Albion's history.
Centre back - Ivar Ingimarsson
Brilliant defender who was superb in 2003. Naturally
that meant he went to Reading rather than Withdean.
Left back - Wayne Bridge
Rampaging left back spent one season on loan and was
absolute class. Has a fit wife as well.
Left back - Stephen Ward
Republic of Ireland
Bridge's replacement at left back was equally as
good. He took our WAB Player of the Season award in
Right midfield - Paddy McCourt
Mercurial midfielder who liked a slow and skilful
dribble almost as much as he liked a drink.
Right wing -
Needs no introduction. He hasn't made a bad start to
his Albion career now, has he?
Centre midfield -
Arrived at Withdean as a nobody, left The Amex as a
full Scotland international. Not done much since.
Centre midfield - Radostin Kishishev
Veteran midfielder was the calming influence in the
League One title winning side.
Centre midfield - Andrew Crofts
Battling midfielder. One of the clubs best players
until his body made of chocolate gave way.
Centre midfield - Joao Teixeira
Looked a class act during his season long loan
despite the fact he was surrounded by utter dross.
Left midfield - Nathan Jones
The Rhonda Valley Wizard. Loved a step over, scoring
worldies and screaming in a high pitched manner.
Left midfield - Jiri Skalak
Looks can be deceiving - he may look like a homeless
man but his assist record is something else.
Striker - Glenn Murray
Top scorer in the League One title team. Let go
after Poyet deemed him not worth the money he
Don't let the lack of intellect or the west country
accent fool you - he has played for Austria Under
Striker - Craig Mackail-Smith
Murray's replacement & the Albion's record signing.
Scored the old goal & ran around. A lot.
Striker - Lorenzo Pinamonte
Scored a couple in 1999-00, then went to Brentford.
His replacement? A certain Bobby Zamora.
Sub - Alan Blayney
Two loan spells at Withdean. Made some good saves.
More impressive was how shiny his head was.
Sub - Peter Brezovan
Giant goalkeeper, loved saving penalties and was
bloody good looking to boot.
Sub - Aaron Hughes
One of David Burke's better pointless signings.
Played about five times until not even Hyypia would
Started off promisingly, then it all went a bit
downhill. May or may not still be at the club.
Nobody seems to know.
Sub - Joe Dolan
The only other Northern Irishman we could think of
to take their quota up to four. Three games. All
See above description of Holla, minus the may still
be at the club bit. He definitely is no longer with
Sub - Adam Virgo
Still struggling as to why Celtic paid £1.5m for
him. Can play anywhere. Even right wing accoring to
Sub - Dirk Lehmann
Managed six games before everyone realised he was
rubbish. Looked like a porn star and played like one
Sub - Craig Davies
Better known as Barn Door. Gave one of the worst
individual performances in history away at McDons.
Striker - Torbjorn Agdestein
Turned the game away at Peterborough once. Looked
good but it clearly went wrong somewhere.
Who has been your
favourite EU national to represent the Albion in the last 16
years? Which side and why would win this epic contest? Do
you remember Joe Dolan? Let us know using the comments form