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Brighton and Hove Albion - Britain v The EU

Unless you've been lucky enough to be living on Mars for the last six month, then you will be aware that there is a referendum coming up to decide on whether Britain remains a member of the European Union.

While this is an important decision, we are frankly bored of the scaremongering and general claptrap that has been coming out of both sides of the argument. So bored in fact that we have come up with our own vote on the question of Britain v EU - namely, if we go back to the turn of the century and select a team of British players to take on a team of players from the EU, who would come out on top?

16 of the EU's member states are represented in one of the teams while we've given equal weighting to all four parts of the United Kingdom with each having four representatives on Team Britain, even though those has meant we've had to wheel out Joe Dolan (remember him? Exactly).

You won't find any talks about how World War III will kick off if we leave or of how the NHS will go down the swanny and we'll all be speaking Polish or Czech if we stay (although being able to chat up Jiri Skalak's missus could be considered a huge positive). Just simple facts as we ask you who would win this meeting of 32 of the finest and not-so-finest Albion players of the last 16 years - Team Britain or Team EU? You can cast your vote at the bottom of the ballot paper.

Team Britain

Team EU

Goalkeeper - Mark Walton
Wales

Miserable goalkeeper who liked shouting. For someone so fat, he wasn't actually that bad.
Goalkeeper - Tomasz Kusczcak
Poland
Had two great seasons before being released. Some say the best keeper we had. Oscar didn't think so.
Right back - Paul Watson
England

Best set piece taker in the world. He could pick out Bobby Zamora's head in a crowd of a million people.
Right back - Bruno
Spain

Our reigning WAB Player of the Season. His head is attached upside down but he remains a cult hero.
Centre back - Gordon Greer
Scotland

A passionate Scot. One of the best defenders and club captains in the Albion's history.
Centre back - Vitalijs Maksimenko
Latvia

Young defender played a few times at left back despite apparently being a centre half. He wasn't very good.
Centre back - Danny Cullip
England

A passionate Englishman. One of the best defenders and club captains in the Albion's history.
Centre back - Ivar Ingimarsson
Iceland

Brilliant defender who was superb in 2003. Naturally that meant he went to Reading rather than Withdean.
Left back - Wayne Bridge
England

Rampaging left back spent one season on loan and was absolute class. Has a fit wife as well.
Left back - Stephen Ward
Republic of Ireland

Bridge's replacement at left back was equally as good. He took our WAB Player of the Season award in 2014.
Right midfield - Paddy McCourt
Northern Ireland

Mercurial midfielder who liked a slow and skilful dribble almost as much as he liked a drink.
Right wing - Anthony Knockaert
France

Needs no introduction. He hasn't made a bad start to his Albion career now, has he?
Centre midfield - Liam Bridcutt
Scotland

Arrived at Withdean as a nobody, left The Amex as a full Scotland international. Not done much since.
Centre midfield - Radostin Kishishev
Bulgaria

Veteran midfielder was the calming influence in the League One title winning side.
Centre midfield - Andrew Crofts
Wales

Battling midfielder. One of the clubs best players until his body made of chocolate gave way.
Centre midfield - Joao Teixeira
Portugal

Looked a class act during his season long loan despite the fact he was surrounded by utter dross.
Left midfield - Nathan Jones
Wales

The Rhonda Valley Wizard. Loved a step over, scoring worldies and screaming in a high pitched manner.
Left midfield - Jiri Skalak
Czech Republic

Looks can be deceiving - he may look like a homeless man but his assist record is something else.
Striker - Glenn Murray
England

Top scorer in the League One title team. Let go after Poyet deemed him not worth the money he wanted.
Sub - Ashley Barnes
Austria

Don't let the lack of intellect or the west country accent fool you - he has played for Austria Under 20s.
Striker - Craig Mackail-Smith
Scotland

Murray's replacement & the Albion's record signing. Scored the old goal & ran around. A lot.
Striker - Lorenzo Pinamonte
Italy

Scored a couple in 1999-00, then went to Brentford. His replacement? A certain Bobby Zamora.

Sub - Alan Blayney
Northern Ireland

Two loan spells at Withdean. Made some good saves. More impressive was how shiny his head was.
Sub - Peter Brezovan
Slovakia

Giant goalkeeper, loved saving penalties and was bloody good looking to boot.
Sub - Aaron Hughes
Northern Ireland

One of David Burke's better pointless signings. Played about five times until not even Hyypia would pick him.
Sub - Danny Holla
Netherlands

Started off promisingly, then it all went a bit downhill. May or may not still be at the club. Nobody seems to know.
Sub - Joe Dolan
Northern Ireland

The only other Northern Irishman we could think of to take their quota up to four. Three games. All forgotten.
Sub - Alexis Nicolas
Cyprus

See above description of Holla, minus the may still be at the club bit. He definitely is no longer with us.
Sub - Adam Virgo
Scotland

Still struggling as to why Celtic paid 1.5m for him. Can play anywhere. Even right wing accoring to Adams.
Sub - Dirk Lehmann
Germany

Managed six games before everyone realised he was rubbish. Looked like a porn star and played like one too.
Sub - Craig Davies
Wales

Better known as Barn Door. Gave one of the worst individual performances in history away at McDons.
Striker - Torbjorn Agdestein
Norway

Turned the game away at Peterborough once. Looked good but it clearly went wrong somewhere.

Who has been your favourite EU national to represent the Albion in the last 16 years? Which side and why would win this epic contest? Do you remember Joe Dolan? Let us know using the comments form below


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