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Tony Pulis
Who is he?
Manager of the Year last season before quitting
Crystal Palace oveer their lack of signings in
the summer. Would surely love to work under
David Burke with his fine track record in the
market.
Pros: Has never been
relegated, vastly experienced.
Cons:
Wears a baseball cap. |
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Karl Robinson
Who is he?
Current McDons manager who is leading a
promotion push this season having been at the
club since 2010 in which time he has
masterminded two top six finishes and victory
over Manchester United.
Pros: Young,
English, McDons side play attacking football and
score for fun.
Cons: Never managed in
the Championship. |
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Tim Sherwood
Who is he?
Former Tottenham Hotspur manager who led them to
5th in the Premier League last season before
turning down jobs at Palace and West Brom in the
summer.
Pros: English, young, bloods youngsters, wears a gilet,
gets fans to sit on bench.
Cons: Lack of experience, seems an egotistical maniac like Poyet,
stupid salute. |
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Nigel Adkins
Who is he?
Needs no introduction. Did a remarkable job
taking Scunthorpe into and keeping them in the
Championship and led Southampton from League One
to the Premier League in consecutive seasons.
Pros:
Proven track record, likely to produce
ridiculous David Brent soundbites.
Cons: "If they can keep up with us
perhaps". |
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Nathan Jones
Who is he?
Current
assistant manager who has served time under both
Oscar Garcia and Hyypia and has been placed in
interim charge while the board attempt to find a
new man. Led Charlton's development side to a
league title.
Pros: Knows the club and
the current players.
Cons:
Untried and untested, once celebrated Yeovil
beating Brighton. |
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Chris Hughton
Who is he?
Won the Championship
with Newcastle United before being
unceremoniously sacked. Kept Norwich afloat in
the top flight before losing his job last
season.
Pros: Classy manager,
knows the division
Cons: Unable to
arrest the slide once Norwich got in a downward
spiral. |
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Sven Goran Eriksson
Who is he?
England's first ever
foreign manager who has has managed and slept
his way across the world. Led the Three Lions to
three major tournament quarter finals.
Pros:
Big name, says "wella wella wella" a lot.
Cons: Never been in a Championship
relegation battle before. |
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Uwe Rosler
Who is he?
Laid the groundwork
for Brentford's promotion from League One before
taking Wigan to the play offs and FA Cup semi
finals last season. Sacked after managing to
lose a game against Brighton.
Pros:
Side play entertaining football, pre-season
tours to Germany.
Cons: Left Wigan in a world of problems. |
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Kim Jong-un
Who is he?
Supreme Leader of
North Korea. Football background is unknown but
good friends with Dennis Rodman which suggests
he likes sport. Would add discipline and order.
Pros:
No nonsense approach, gets things done, nuclear
threat to opponents.
Cons: May attempt
to turn the club into a communist dynasty. |
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Keith Hill
Who is he?
Manager of Rochdale
led them out of League Two for the first time in
a generation and now has the Dale in the
remarkable position of battling for a play-off
place in League One in his second spell.
Pros:
Gets the best out of limited players, wears a
flat cap.
Cons: Struggled to make an impression in
the Championship with Barnsley. |
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Remi Garde
Who is he?
One time Arsenal
player who spent three seasons as manager of
Lyon up until this summer in which time he won
the French Cup and the French version of the
Commuity Shield.
Pros: Good track
record with a Lyon side cutting down on
expenditure.
Cons: Hasn't managed in
England, French so strong chance he will go on
strike. |
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Nasty Nick Cotton
Who is he?
Son of Dot Cotton
who recently returned to Walford after having
his own death faked. No nonsense guy who has
been known to resort to murder and poisoning his
own mother to get results.
Pros:
Nobody would dare cross him.
Cons: Has
been known to become addicted to heroin which
could be an issue. |
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Gordon Cowans
Who is he?
Aston Villa reserve team boss who has recently
stepped up to help the first team following Roy
Keane's departure. Seeing as half our team is
made up of Villa reserves on-loan, could be a
perfect fit.
Pros: Knows half the team
through managing the stiffs at Villa.
Cons: Never
been a boss before, may try and sign more Villa
reserves. |
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Micky Adams
Who is he?
They always say
never go back, but they rarely say don't go back
twice. Won promotion from the second tier with
Leicester as well as Division Three with the
Albion and now saving Tranmere from the drop
into the Conference.
Pros: Former title winning
manager, jobs for Bob Booker and Dean White.
Cons: Last reign still gives nightmares
to this day. |
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Joan of Arc
Who is she? Recieved Holy visions that led
her to travel to support French king Charles VII
in battling the English in the Hundred Year War.
Secured several victories before being captured
by the English and burned at the stake.
Pros:
Gets wins when they are needed, has the ear of
God which may be helpful.
Cons: Has
been dead for nearly 600 years. |
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Bob Bradley
Who is he?
Former USA and Egypt
national team manager who has just completed his
first season at Stabaek in Norway, leading them
to 9th in the highly competitive Tippeilgaen.
Pros:
American phrases such as "offence", "upper 90"
and "shutout".
Cons: May not
understand relegation as it doesn't exist in the
MLS. |
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Glenn Hoddle
Who is he?
Extremely gifted
play maker who led Swindon to the Premier League
as well as spells in charge of England, Chelsea,
Tottenham, Southampton and Wolves. Hasn't had a
job in this decade however.
Pros:
Would play good football and a big name manager.
Cons:
Would not go down well with disabled fans. |
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Kevin Pietersen
Who is he?
Sacked as an England
cricketer earlier in 2014, he is one of the most
gifted players of his generation. Has a
celebrity wife although his attitude remains
questionable. Would no doubt love the job for
attention seeking purposes.
Pros:
Would garner plenty of media attention, won't
tolerate any nonsense.
Cons: If we
lose every game 11-0 Piers Morgan would still
back him. |
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Thierry Henry
Who is he? One of the greatest footballers
of his generation. France's all time top
goalscorer, Arsenal's all time top scorer, great
football brain, incredibly good looking and
immaculately dressed. Va va voom.
Pros:
Would stop Sky mentioning every five minutes he
is now a pundit for them.
Cons: No
management experience, would encourage the use
of handball. |
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Pixie Lott
Who is she? Strictly Come Dancing contestant
who was scandalously booted off before the
final. Popular singer with a long list of hits.
If you can't perform for a woman that beautiful,
who can you perform for?
Pros:
Unbelievable legs.
Cons: Knows nothing about football. But
then neither did Hyypia at times. |
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Fenton
Who is he? Dog who went wild in Richmond
Park, chasing red deer around leading his
flummoxed owner to run around after him
screaming "JESUS CHRIST FENTON" in a YouTube
sensation.
Pros: Proven to manoeuvre
his players into winning positions.
Cons:
Is a Labrador. |
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Brian McDermott
Who is he? Took Reading to promotion to the
Premier League as champions of the Championship
in his first ever job. Most recently at Leeds
from were he was sacked by their basketcase
owner.
Pros: Knows the division, used
to working with financial restraints at Leeds.
Cons:
Looks like a boiled egg. |
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Nigel Clough
Who is he? Son of ex-Albion manager Brian
who has become known for his giant killing cup
exploits at Sheffield United. Sat on the bench
at the Goldstone with his Dad as a youngster so
should know the club well.
Pros: Cup
records show he can get players playing above
themselves.
Cons: Rates Chris O'Grady. |
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Jamie Carragher
Who is he? Liverpool legend who spent his
entire career at Anfield, winning every trophy
going bar the Premier League. Now a successful
pundit on Sky Sports who has proven he knows the
game.
Pros: Intelligent, plenty of
contacts.
Cons: Would need a
translator, last Liverpool defender didn't work
out too well. |
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Martin Jol
Who is he? Former Spurs and Fulham boss who
has a decent track record in the Premier League,
leading both sides to expected finishes. Deep
Dutch voice makes him sound like some sort of
drug dealing pimp.
Pros: Good manager,
good record, extremely likeable.
Cons:
Has never managed in the Championship,
intimidating voice. |
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Santa Claus
Who is he? Seasonal option who would be
available from December 27th. Jolly fella who
could motivate the team with gifts. Used to
working with vertically challenged elves so
should do well with our midfield.
Pros:
Great leader, pulls off the impossible, would
check the team sheet twice.
Cons:
Questions about nutritional approach, may change
club colours to red. |
