Did Nzuzi Toko exist or was he just a myth?

Read a Brighton squad list from the first half of the 2014-15 season and there are some incredible names in there – Gary Gardner, Greg Halford, Adrian Colunga, Ali al-Habsi, Nzuzi Toko.

We are here today to discuss the last of those men. Nzuzi Toko. One of the strangest signings in Albion history, the midfielder arrived amid great fanfare from Grasshopper Zurich on a three-year contract in the summer of 2014, only to be released just eight months later with his Brighton career totalling a 20 minutes substitute appearance away at Burton Albion in the Capital One Cup.

To this day, I am not sure Toko even existed. Could the 683 Seagulls supporters who ventured to the Pirelli Stadium on that September Wednesday night have been tricked into believing Toko was real, like something out of The Matrix minus Keanu Reeves flaying around in a long, black jacket? Was Toko’s Albion career just one big dream, like the entire ninth season of Dallas?

Reeves in The Matrix is somewhat of an apt comparison for Toko, actually. Like Neo, Toko may or may not have been real and like Neo (if Neo were real and a football player), Toko appeared to be a red card waiting to happen.

In the 20 minutes his competitive Brighton career lasted at Burton, Nzuzi Toko must have attempted to injure at least eight or nine opponents in yellow during a one-man rampage around the pitch.

Remarkably, it was Inigo Calderon who ended up taking an early bath that night. Calderon’s crime was raising his foot a little too high when attempting to control a ball and catching a Burton player; an innocent accident compared to the scenes of devastation Toko looked intent on causing.

These memories of Toko may make him sound like a dirty player. That was not really the case though. He was just clumsy, not helped by the fact that he appeared determined to make up for what he lacked in ability by putting in as much effort as possible, leading to him overenthusiastically breaking anything that he got within a 10 feet radius of.

This even extended to his own team mates in training. When the club used to post footage of Sami Hyypia putting the troops through their paces at the American Express Elite Football Performance Centre, it was terrifying watching Toko tear around like a bull in a china shop.

What other evidence do we have that Toko was more than a dream, aside from one night in Burton? Two months earlier and there was a 5-0 pre-season win over Lewes that offers some indication he was not just a figment of the imagination.

The standout memory of that balmy July afternoon at the Dripping Pan was the scandal of not being able to take beer outside the clubhouse, unlike in the previous season’s curtain raiser at Whitehawk.

In-between trying to sneak pints onto the terraces undetected, it was noticeable that Toko was one of the better players on show in what was his first appearance in Brighton blue.

After watching him that day, you could have easily been led to think that the Albion had stumbled across a real prospect. Little did we know that Toko would play so small a part that in the years following his brief spell at the club, Brighton fans would be left questioning if he was real or myth.

That performance at Lewes fitted in with the excitement that greeted Toko’s signing. Brighton had spent the best part of six months tracking and negotiating with him ever since it became clear that he would be willing to turn down a new contract with Grasshoppers in favour of a fresh challenge abroad.

So desperate to get their man were the Albion that they completed the deal without actually having a manager in place. Oscar Garcia had resigned a little over a week earlier and Hyypia was yet to be appointed in his place.

Brighton clearly felt that no matter who was in charge, Toko was good enough to thrive. No prizes as to who made that call – David Burke, he of such wise ideas as replacing future Premier League winner Leonardo Ulloa with Chris O’Grady and signing al-Habsi on loan, without realising the goalkeeper would be off to play in the Asian Cup with Oman a few days later.

Burke was not the only one to get caught up in Tokomania, which was soon running wild across Sussex. As is so often the case, Albion fans decided that the new arrival was the next big thing because he had a nice YouTube highlight reel and was good on FIFA without ever actually having seen him play football. See also Manu, Elvis; Locadia, Jurgen; Jahanbakhsh, Alireza; Arismendi, Diego… the list goes on.

In fairness, the excitement was not solely whipped up by computer games and the internet. Toko also had a decent CV from his time in Switzerland.

By the age of 23, he had played 161 times for Grasshoppers having come through the youth ranks at the club, scoring 13 goals and registering 10 assists from his central midfield berth. He played both Champions League and Europa League football at Stadion Letzigrund.

In the 2012-13 season, Toko had helped Grasshoppers win their first Swiss title for a decade. They followed that up in 2013-14 with a second placed finish behind Basle.

Toko had experience of international football too as a Swiss Under 21 international with 13 caps and two goals. Before committing to Switzerland, he made three friendly appearances for DR Congo, the country of his birth. Toko moved to Zurich from the Congolese capital Kinshasa when he was four-years-old.

All of this fed into the narrative that Toko’s signing was quite a coup. It is all the hullabaloo surrounding him which makes the short and not-so-sweet Brighton career of Nzuzi Toko even stranger.

After that one decent outing against Ryman League Lewes and his 20 minutes in the Capital One Cup, Toko was never seen again. Hyypia clearly was not impressed, which is saying something given the absolute horror show his brief reign of terror ended up being.

Even less impressed was Chris Hughton. Within three weeks of his appointment as Albion manager, Hughton decided to terminate Toko’s deal with 30 months still to run on it.

Hughton did not even comment on the decision. Paul Barber instead got the honours, saying: “Unfortunately things didn’t work out as all parties had hoped. Nonetheless all of us at the club thank Toko for his efforts and wish him well for the future.”

Bit of an understatement that, when it comes to cancelling two-and-a-half years of a contract on a bloke you spent months convincing to sign for the club. At least Toko agreed to a mutual termination at no cost to the Albion, saving Brighton what would have been a considerable pay out.

What became of Toko after he left Brighton? His next stop was Eskisehirspor of the Turkish Super Lig followed by a return to a Switzerland with FC St. Gallen, time in Saudi Arabia at Al-Fateh and a brief spell in Sweden with IFK Göteborg. Now he finds himself in Bundesliga 2 at Würzburger Kickers.

For a bloke who could only look good in a Brighton shirt against the might of Lewes, Nzuzi Toko has eked out a decent (and nomadic) career. Why it never worked out for him with the Albion – especially as he was part of easily the worst squad there has been in the Amex era – is something of a mystery.

You could have dropped the panel of Loose Women into Hyypia’s midfield and they would have been an upgrade. If Judi Love was have been a better option than Gary Gardner, then surely Toko might as well have been given an opportunity?

Unless of course Nzuzi Toko was just a myth, never actually real and we have all imagined his time at Brighton. Stranger things have happened, just ask Pamela Ewing…