How Adam Hinshelwood scored the perfect own goal

Adam Hinshelwood, Boxing Day 2008, Brighton & Hove Albion, Colchester United, perfect own goal. If you know, you know. And if you don’t know, you are about to find out. Because at long last, Mr WAB is writing the piece he has wanted to do for years about arguably the best Albion moment which occurred during the club’s 12-year stay at Withdean Stadium.

Yes, better than winning the Division Three title in 2000-01. Better than securing back-to-back championships with the Division Two title a season later.

Better than beating Swindon Town on penalties in the playoff semi finals, when the Great Mark McGhee became the only Brighton manager to lead the Seagulls to promotion through the end-of-season lottery.

It was better than last day Championship survival against Ipswich Town the following year. Better than beating Stockport County, completing the Great Escape from relegation into League Two and seeing Russell Slade carried around the pitch by fans like some sort of god.

And yes, even better than Gus Poyet He Who Must Not Be Named leading Brighton to total domination of League One in 2010-11, rewriting how it was possible for a third tier team to play in the process.

Everything about the Adam Hinshelwood own goal was magnificent. The circumstances. The skill required. How the crowd reacted. What Micky Adams said afterwards. And how it was reported by those present at Withdean who could scarcely believe what they had just witnessed.

Brighton v Colchester, Boxing Day 2008

To say the 2008-09 season was not going particularly well when Colchester rocked up at Withdean on Boxing Day would be a slight understatement.

Dick Knight had taken the controversial decision to replace Dean Wilkins as manager in the summer with Micky Adams. Wilkins had led the Seagulls to a seventh place finish in 2007-08, just a handful of points off a playoff place.

Knight though felt Adams stood a better start of ensuring Brighton started life in their soon-to-be-built stadium at Falmer outside of League One.

Well, Knight was right. But not in the way he imagined. The new ground was in danger of opening its doors with the Albion in League Two rather than the Championship.

Brighton sat fourth from bottom and in the League One relegation zone coming into Boxing Day. Just Crewe Alexandra, Hereford United and Cheltenham Town were below the Seagulls in the standings.

In a seriously congested lower half of the table, Colchester were only five points and five places better off. If Adams was to get Brighton out of their predicament, this was exactly the sort of game he needed to win.

Adam Hinshelwood strikes… John Sullivan has no chance

Things got off to a good start when Brighton took the lead after 21 minutes. Dean Cox delivered a pinpoint cross and a deft header from Nicky Forster beat United goalkeeper Jimmy Walker.

Forster had earlier hit the bar as the Albion really took the game to the visitors. Colchester were offering little going forward. It looked like everyone would be tucking into the famous Withdean sausage and bacon baguette at half time with Brighton comfortable.

You know what is coming. 10 minutes before half time and Hinshelwood chased back a long and hopeful Colchester ball over the top.

With no visiting player within 20 yards, all Hinshelwood had to do was guide the ball back to John Sullivan. The Brighton goalkeeper helped out by obeying to the first rule of setting up to deal with a back pass… move away from the net and to the side in case something goes terribly wrong with your first touch.

Not that Sullivan had the opportunity for a first touch. Despite having time to look at where Sullivan was positioned, Hinshelwood instead beamed the ball from 30 yards straight towards the now unguarded goal.

He hit it with enough force so that Sullivan scrambling back across his line could not get there. To complete the comedic scenes, Sullivan ended up sliding into the back of the net with the ball, getting tangled up like a fish.

It was all downhill for Brighton from the Adam Hinshelwood own goal. A woeful second half performance followed in which Colchester’s ex-Albion midfield pairing of Dean Hammond and Mark Yeates dominated.

United eventually got their reward when substitute Scott Vernon was left unmarked to tap home a Kemal Izzet cross with only three minutes remaining, securing a 2-1 victory for Colchester.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Some Brighton fans don’t see the funny side

Whilst every Albion fan can now appreciate just how perfect the Adam Hinshelwood own goal was, not everyone saw the funny side at the time.

Before the ball even goes beyond Sullivan, you can hear the anger rising from the crowd at what is about to come.

A cacophony of distress mixed with disbelief that yes, somehow, this shittest of football seasons so far has somehow just got shitter.

Best of all though is the Brighton supporter whose reaction was picked up very audibly by the camera filming the game from the South Stand gantry.

A simple, effective, drawn out cry of “FUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKIIINNNNGGGG HEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL” heard over the entire stadium. He doesn’t even sound that angry. Just disappointed.

Watch the below video back with sound on from 39 seconds and enjoy. It also includes the added bonus of Colin Hawkins powering a header beyond Sullivan two months earlier to condemn Brighton to a Tuesday night FA Cup replay away at Hartlepool United. We’ll write about that one day too.

The other fantastic aspect of the above video is the commentary. These were the days before Brighton were desperate to portray themselves to the world as the perfect football club, meaning the media team were allowed to take the piss.

“Adam Hinshelwood decided he would start dishing out the presents too… John Sullivan and the rest of Withdean didn’t really appreciate the gift. Colchester level at the break… which was bound to be bad news.”

Glorious.

What Micky Adams said about the Adam Hinshelwood own goal

Adams was a mixture of frustrated and bemused speaking after the game. He told The Argus: “It’s hard to swallow. I don’t think the effort of the players deserved a defeat.”

“I thought in the first half we had the better chances, we scored a very good goal and limited Colchester to very few chances. We played some decent stuff as well.”

“It was a real sickener to go in at half-time at 1-1 but that was a bizarre an own goal as you will ever see, I think.

“You can’t legislate for that as a manager or coach. As soon as it left his foot I thought ‘that’s going in’.” You and the rest of Withdean, Micky.

How the media reported the Hinshelwood own goal

Those reporting from the press box at Withdean faced a tough time filing their copy. How on earth do you justice to Adam Hinshelwood scoring the perfect own goal?

The Argus went for “own goal under no pressure”, rather under-egging the pudding. BBC Sport described it as: “A bizarre Adam Hinshelwood own goal, who was under no pressure when slamming into his own net to put Colchester level.”

Brighton themselves did not try to spin it into misfortune. The official match report in the next home programme read: “United didn’t create a single chance in the first half – but they still went in on level terms.”

“Adam Hinshelwood wildly mishit a 30 yard back-pass, giving John Sullivan, who had rightly moved to a spot some way wide of his goal, no chance.”

Spare a thought for young Sullivan in all this. The Colchester match was only the eighth game of his professional career. In which time he saw Hawkins and now Hinshelwood put unstoppable own goals past him.

They were the worst of times, they were the best of times. And nobody will ever score an own goal quite as perfect as Adam Hinshelwood again.