Brighton 0-1 Everton: Awful afternoon for awful Albion

Having supported the Albion for 30 years, I found myself stunned that after three consecutive away wins, nine goals scored and one conceded, what we witnessed on the return to the Amex was Brighton 0-1 Everton.

Sarcasm might be the lowest form of wit. But it is deserved for the 17th placed Toffees making off with three points, meaning Fabian Hurzeler is still yet to oversee an Albion home win over a side in the bottom half of the Premier League table.

Everything about this total waste of 105 minutes was awful. Brighton were awful. Everton were awful. The game was awful. Time wasting awful. Refereeing awful. Tactics from Fabian Hurzeler awful. It was just awful, awful, awful.

Two shots on target were all Seagulls and Toffees could muster between them. And one of those was a penalty, converted by Iliman Ndiaye for the only goal of the game and three precious Everton points.

Said penalty decision has split opinions. Yes, Veltman gets pushed by Beto . But he also does that thing where a player tries to force a decision in the eyes of the referee, grabbing the ball as they go to ground to indicate they have been fouled.

Seven times out of 10 it works. The problem for Veltman being this was one of the three in 10 it didn’t. And he had just therefore handled in the box, as picked up by VAR.

Veltman is a clever bloke. A master of the dark arts. This time though the dark arts failed to pay off. Arsenal fans would have laughed at the fate of their most despised opposition player if they weren’t so busy finding more conspiracies against them from Myles Lewis-Skelly being sent off against Wolves.

What Veltman really should have considered is Mr Robinson had not given the sort of cheap foul he was looking for once in the preceding 40 minutes. Veltman took a calculated risk that would change. Mr Robinson though was not having any of it. No foul. Everton penalty.

Penalty aside, Mr Robinson was awful. That word again. He set his stall out when awarding Brighton a goal kick instead of a clear Everton corner inside the opening five minutes.

Not a good start for those of us who had over nine corners in their bet builder. Although that particular wager was sunk by the decision to also include over nine shots on target, based on Jordan Pickford always seeming to have a blinder at the Amex. No such heroics needed by Pickford on this occasion.

Mr Robinson produced a flurry of cards here. Another mistake there when one side should have a throw but it went to the other.

It was not really a surprise when frustrations boiled over to the point there was a 20 man brawl after the full time whistle. Entertainment at last for those few thousand Seagulls supporters who had not already headed for the exits.

There was one thing even more frustrating to Brighton than the performance of Mr Robinson. The time wasting of Everton. Every couple of minutes throughout the second half, a Toffees player would find themselves on the deck with another mystery ailment.

At one point towards the end, they had three players down at once. Pickford claiming some sort of issue and two of his defenders needing attention for cramp.

It was like watching a shit game of sleeping lions. Somehow, only Pickford got booked for time wasting. A punishment which provided such a stern warning that the England number one responded by taking even longer than he already had been over every goal kick.

But for all the complaints it as possible to fire at the referee and the visitors, the real reason it finished Brighton 0-1 Everton is because the Albion were simply not good enough.

Pickford could claim he held onto the ball so long because he had scarcely seen it otherwise and you would be hard pushed to argue back.

His only save of note was not even really a save. A shot from Joao Pedro took a deflection and looked like it was probably going to end up on the roof of the net anyway. Pickford was not taking any chances and so tipped it over, just to be on the safe side.

Everything that had been good about Brighton in the 3-1 win at Manchester United last week was missing. There was no pace. No directness. No willingness to have a go.

Yankubu Minteh was electric at Old Trafford. But Hurzeler dropped him for Brighton 0-1 Everton, revealing afterwards this was because Minteh turned up at the Amex late.

Hopefully, Minteh’s reasoning was the classic Sussex Sunday League excuse for rocking up 30 minutes after the arranged meet time of there being a long queue for breakfast Burgess Hill McDonald’s drive thru.

Whilst Hurzeler was justified in benching Minteh for poor time keeping, why start Brajan Gruda over the in-form Georginio Rutter? It was one of a number of baffling decisions made by The Youngest Permanent Manager in Premier League History.

Switching Veltman to left back and Tariq Lamptey to right at the break just seemed pointless. Lamptey is better with his left foot than Veltman and had looked at least vaguely threatening pushing forward in the first half.

There was a change during the second half to a back three of Veltman, Lewis Dunk and Jan Paul van Hecke. Then Carlos Baleba went in at centre back.

Jack Hinshelwood came on, I think somewhere in midfield. It was all a bit of a mess and looked a little desperate from Hurzeler, like a man scratching around in the dark trying to find a light switch.

The pièce de résistance in terms of desperation came in the final few minutes, when Hurzeler threw Adam Webster on as striker. I mean, where do you even begin with that?

Returning to the Sunday League theme, fourth choice centre back up front as a big man to launch balls at is the sort of thing you see from a pub team. Not a Premier League club who spent £193 million on new players in the summer transfer window.

Still, those of us who still worship at the alter of Mark McGhee enjoyed striker Webster. It is a fitting tribute to the impact McGhee had at Brighton that 20 years after he converted Adam Virgo from defender to centre forward, Hurzeler is taking inspiration and is influenced by everyone’s favourite pint of whiskey drinking Scotsman.

As if a centre back up front was not enough, Brighton 0-1 Everton also gave us the magnificent sight of Bart Verbruggen up for a corner in the final minutes.

Said corner of course failed to make it into the danger area, meaning Verbruggen going forward was almost as pointless as Webster up front.

And so that wait for Hurzeler to win an Amex game facing struggling opponents goes on. Three home victories all season and none since the second weekend of November does not make for good reading either. Awful reading, some might say.

We all know what happens next though, right? Victory at surprise title contenders Nottingham Forest. It is – and always will be – the Brighton way…

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