Match Preview – Brighton v Burnley

Burnley – the club
Burnley are very much the model for any newly promoted Premier League team to follow. They’ve gone up, come back down and then gone back up again, all the while sticking with Sean Dyche as manager despite the fact that his gravelly voice make him sound like a pervert and he looks like a ginger version of Stone Cold Steve Austin. That loyalty has been richly rewarded with the Clarets enjoying a quite remarkable season that currently has them in the hunt for European football. Those Albion fans who think Chris Hughton isn’t the right man for the job anymore just because we have lost a few games to some of the best teams in the country would do well to look at Dyche and Burnley for what can be achieved with a little bit of faith and stability.

Burnley – the place
The football team may be flying but frankly, Burnley is horrible. It’s actually voted in BNP councillors before and the only good thing we can think to have come out of the town is Jimmy Anderson. Actually, we experienced our first ever doner kebab meat pizza there in 2012 which was a positive.

Burnley – the people
Burnley’s most famous fan is Alistair Campbell, the spin doctor who helped get Labour into power under Tony Blair. He was the massive gay shite that The Thick Of It’s Malcolm Tucker was based around which naturally makes him a fantastic person.

A good WeAreBrighton.com memory of Burnley at home
It wasn’t a particularly good result, but Burnley’s visit to the Amex in 2011 provided one of the best atmospheres the stadium has seen still to this day. Romain Vincelot and Ashley Barnes were sent off inside of 12 minutes, leaving the Albion to play with nine men for virtually the whole game. With The Great Escape vibrating around the stadium, we ended up losing 1-0 but if Craig Mackail-Smith could finish his dinner let alone a couple of the 146 chances he had, we could’ve pulled off what would’ve ranked as one of the most remarkable results in Albion history.

A bad WeAreBrighton.com memory of Burnley at home
Michael Keane’s 90th minute header rescued a point for Burnley when we last met towards the end of the 2015-16 season. It proved a pivotal goal – without it, we’d have picked up two more points and wouldn’t have had to go into the final game of the season needing to win at Middlesbrough to go up.

Played for both
Barnes is now at Burnley and it will be interesting to see what kind of reaction he gets as a man who number one in the Brighton Fans Scapegoat Club for a couple of seasons. He isn’t the only ex-Brighton player in the Clarets squad either, with Stephen Ward, Sam Vokes and Chris Wood also now at Turf Moor. Dale Stephens looked set to move there this summer until he signed a new Albion deal very late in the day and then took to a stage to sing “Burnley’s a shit hole” in front of 40,000 people when pissed.

Dangermen
Given our record of conceding goals to former Albion players, there has to be a strong chance that one of the quartet will score. And you just know it will be Barnes, probably in front of the North Stand and he will celebrate wildly in front of our support. Burnley’s success has been largely built upon the team over individuals, although Jack Cork is worth keeping an eye on after his form in the early part of the season earned him an England call up.

Betting
Our last three meetings have ended in draws. It’s a decent price to make that four in a row while we’d also expect both teams to score even if we’ve looked less penetrative than the Pope’s trouser department in recent weeks.

Prediction
Time to get our season back on track. We can do that with a point against in form Burnley. Score draw.