Seven players Brighton should sign based on YouTube highlights

“Check out this player on YouTube, you will see,” is fast becoming the most posted comment on Brighton and Hove Albion’s Facebook page.

Whether it is Tunisian’s telling Albion supporters to have a look at the highlights reel of Youssef Msanki to see how a bloke playing in the Qatar Star League is better than Mo Salah or our South African friends saying that Percy Tau’s YouTube best bits make him the best player in the world – regardless of his work permit situation – YouTube is seemingly the way we should be conducting scouting these days.

Of course, the trouble with this is that quite literally anyone can look good on YouTube. People got really excited about Roland Bergkamp based on a couple of two-minute clips of him playing in the Dutch Sunday League. There are videos on the site of former Whitehawk players looking like Lionel Messi when the reality is, they’ve been deemed not good enough for Bostik League football. Hell, there is probably even a compilation somewhere that has Leon Best coming across as something other than a complete donkey.

Still, if we’re going down the route championed by the Albion’s new-found supporters from the African continent that YouTube can show us who will be a success in the Premier League, then we’ve put together a list of seven players that the Albion should be considering signing based on their YouTube compilation videos.

Cristian Baz
For a highlight reel of stunning goals, check this guy out – it’s none other than Argentinian striker, Cristian Baz. In this video, Baz can be seen scoring all manner of brilliant strikes from every distance and angle imaginable. We of course remember a very different Baz – a bloke who, bar chipping a penalty down the middle in an FA Cup First Round replay away at Woking in November 2010 before looking completely dumbfounded on finding out it was the winning spot kick, had a largely forgettable one season spell at the Albion. Got to be worth another go based on this though, surely?
 

 

Usain Bolt
Usain Bolt’s desire to make it is a professional footballer is well documented. He’s already had brief training stints with Mamelodi Sundowns – playing alongside a certain Mr Tau, no less – Borussia Dortmund, and Strømsgodset of Norway. He recently scored twice in a friendly for Australian side Central Coast Mariners – where a certain Maty Ryan started his career, no less – but was unable to secure a permanent contract. Watch him on YouTube and you’ll be convinced he is a star that is just waiting for a club to shine at. Why not Brighton? Having a bloke who can run 100m in 9.58 seconds would be a refreshing change to Glenn Murray having to turn around and head back to his own half when through on goal due to not being able to outpace anyone.
 

 

Justin Bieber
Are you a Belieber? If not, you will be after watching these highlights of Justin Bieber training with Barcelona. It’s hard to tell who out of Neymar or the Canadian pop sensation is the £195m player. Bieber has a brilliant strike on him and knows where the goal is. Chris Hughton seems to spend every transfer window searching for a striker when the answer has been there all along. Announce Bieber.
 

 

Paul and Barry Chuckle
Remember the time that Paul and Barry Chuckle got mistaken for a couple of Rotherham United players and had to play for the Millers when they only had nine men available? It went brilliantly, Barry delivering a perfect cross from out on the right wing for Paul to head rise like the proverbial salmon and head home. We’ve been waiting over 15 years for the Albion to find a duo with the sort of telepathic link up that Paul Watson and Bobby Zamora used to have – by signing the Chuckle Brothers, that wait could be over.
 

 

Tony Blair
Think Lewis Dunk and Shane Duffy are good in the air? Well, you haven’t seen anything until you see former Prime Minister Tony Blair heading a ball. The last Labour leader to win an election can be seen showing off his skills in a school playground with none other than former Newcastle United boss Kevin Keegan in this highlights reel. Based on this showing, Blair could provide Hughton with valuable back up at centre half. If he takes the same sort of no-nonsense approach to his defending as he did to invading other countries, then he would be a formidable opponent.
 

 

One of the 100 children who played against Dundee United in a friendly in 2017
We’re not sure why this even happened, but in the summer of 2017 the first team squad of Dundee United played a pre-season friendly against a team of 100 kids at Tannadice Park. Needless to say, there were numerous players among the youngsters on show who catch the eye but the best must be the child of around six years old who shows remarkable composure to break through one-on-one, round United goalkeeper Harry Lewis and slot home. It takes place at around 1:24 on the highlights and is the sort of cool finish that deserves a chance in the Premier League, even if the signing the goalscorer would probably break all kinds of child protection laws.
 

 

Youssef Msakni
Finally, we probably should include Msakni himself. Here he can be seen doing some nice stuff for the Tunisian international team against the might of Zimbabwe, among others. As we’ve always said, if a player can do it against Zimbabwe, then they can do it against Manchester City, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool. Sign him up, Hughton.
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