Who will Brighton NOT be playing in pre-season 2022?

It is amazing the chaos and confusion that a fan account on Twitter of a French football team can cause. The internet became awash with rumours that Stade de Reims were set to host Brighton in a pre-season friendly and as a result, Albion fans began looking to arrange their summer 2022 holidays to France.

Fanning the flames of the rush to find cheap travel and accommodation across the English Channel were both The Argus and Andy Naylor reporting the story, along with all those “in the know” accounts with their “sources” who seem to grow in number each year.

Nobody had thought to check with the Albion themselves. This resulted in the strange situation whereby we had an announcement from Brighton on Sunday night as to where they would not be playing pre-season friendlies in 2022 – ie against Reims – rather than where games would be taking place.

Which got us thinking. What if the Albion didn’t bother revealing any details of their friendly opponents, only clubs who they were not going to play?

And it was then left down to supporters to work out where Brighton would be going, like a massive game of Cluedo? Red Bull Salzburg, in Portugal, with the candle stick.

With this in mind, we have put together this list of five clubs Brighton will surely not face in pre-season 2022. That leaves only 1032 possible opponents, based on the number of professional teams playing in 31 leagues across Europe.

Stade de Reims
As already noted, Brighton have confirmed there will be no meeting with Reims. It was widely reported that the Albion would head to Stade Auguste-Delaune for a reunion with former boss Oscar Garcia on Saturday 23rd July.

Reims finished mid table in Ligue 1 in 2021-22, helped by 13 draws from 38 games. With Brighton being stalemate specialists in the Premier League, it seems likely that a trip to France would have resulted in a lot of red wine being drunk, a lot of cheese and baguette being eaten and a 1-1 draw.

Girondins de Bordeaux
Another French club Brighton are unlikely to face is Girondins de Bordeaux. The six-time Ligue 1 winners were relegated from the top flight after finishing bottom of the table but that is not the reason the Albion will not head to the Matmut Atlantique Stadium.

Links between Brighton and Bordeaux are few and far between, which means that the build up to the game could become dominated by talk of a man who managed both clubs – a certain Gustavo Augusto Poyet Domínguez.

And with the Albion determined to airbrush Poyet from history, the prospect of having to acknowledge his existence is a risk which makes a friendly with Bordeaux untenable.

Longford
Graham Potter is a thoughtful and intelligent bloke so it seems unlikely that Brighton will head to Longford for pre-season in 2022. The Albion would probably not be welcomed either after what happened on their previous visit in 2001.

We are of course referring to the infamous Battle of Longford, a “friendly” abandoned after 44 minutes following a mass 40-man brawl.

Steve Melton sparked the fight with a horror tackle after replacing Richard Carpenter, who himself had been subbed for nearly coming to blows with his own teammate Matt Wicks.

Melton was sent off, as were Charlie Oatway and Longford’s Alan Murphy for their role in the fight. Oatway then decided to chase Murphy 30 yards down the pitch to “have a quiet word” which resulted in an even bigger melee as coaches and even the Longford chairman waded in.

Said chairman took a punch in the face from one of his own players in the second brawl as bodies and fists flew everywhere. Once Adams finally managed to pull his players into the changing room, he told them: “Well done lads, get your gear on, we are out of here.”

And Brighton have not been back since.

Brentford
In case you hadn’t heard, Tony Bloom hates Brentford owner Matthew Benham. So much so that he refuses to go in the directors’ box when Brighton travel to face the Bees, instead watching the game from the away stand.

Getting the two of them into the same room is akin to sitting Will Smith down with Chris Rock. That Brighton managed to negotiate the purchase of Neal Maupay from Brentford in the summer of 2019 was nothing short of a miracle.

There is absolutely no chance Bloom would countenance a pre-season friendly between Brighton and Brentford.

Mamelodi Sundowns
In the name of Percy Tau, amen! Brighton are public enemy number one amongst the football loving people of South Africa for giving the Lion of Judah less than 180 minutes of Premier League football before packing him off to Egypt.

Travelling to play Tau’s former club Mamelodi Sundowns would spark riots across Pretoria. And if Brighton players find it challenging when a handful of the Amex crowd shout SHOOT, goodness knows what will happen with millions of angry South Africans out for revenge.