Taken 4 – The Hunt for Alireza Jahanbakhsh

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past decade, you’ll have heard of the Taken franchise movies.

Liam Neeson plays Bryan Mills, a former CIA operative. His daughter and her friend are kidnapped and Mills has to use all the skills he picked up over his long career as a trained killer to try and find them.

Needless to say, Mills does this successfully. He also successfully finds people in Taken 2 and Taken 3.

It was Bryan Mills and Taken that came to mind with the week long circus that surrounded Brighton and Hove Albion signing Alireza Jahanbakhsh from AZ Alkmaar.

We had people working out what flights Jahanbakhsh was on based on the interior of the plane he was pictured in. Supporters were then tracking that flight on Flight Radar. There were cryptic clues on social media and a battle with Leicester City for his signature.

It was all very Taken. So much so, that we’ve used it to come up with a synopsis for Taken 4. Dust off your leather jacket Liam Neeson, you’re hunting down Alireza Jahanbakhsh and bringing him to Brighton.

Synopsis
Three days after Leicester City sell Riyad Mahrez to Manchester City, the Foxes identify Alireza Jahanbakhsh as the man to replace their 2016 PFA Player of the Year at the King Power Stadium. Only one man can track down Jahanbakhsh to ensure he joins the Albion – former CIA operative Bryan Mills.

 


Jahanbakhsh’s friend posts a good luck at Brighton message on Instagram
Mills notices a post had surfaced on the Instagram account of one Ali Alikhanii. It’s a photo of him and Jahanbakhsh. Mills trawls through Mr Alikhanii’s Instagram, noticing that there are several photos of him and Jahanbakhsh, suggesting they are friends. This latest post includes the message منزل #عليرضا_جهانبخش على جان آرزوى موفقعيت در تيم جديدت(برايتون انگليس). Mills translates this, realising it reads “Ali wishes to succeed on new team (British Brighton)”.

 


Head of Recruitment Paul Winstanley likes a tweet about the signing of Jahanbakhsh
The plot thickens. Mills comes across Twittter user @tomhebbo, who posts “If all this Alireza Jahanbakhsh talk is legitimate then bloody hell what a job our recruitment team have done #bhafc”. Albion Head of Recruitment, Paul Winstanley has liked the post. Five hours later, Winstanley has unliked the post. Was it an accidental like or had Winstanley relaised he’d better unlike it as he was giving the game away? Mills is left to ponder, while offering a female guest to his house some home-brewed coffee.

Jahanbakhsh’s Wikipedia page changes – and Brian Owen says he expects the deal to happen
Jahanbakhsh’s Wikipedia entry is changed to state his current club as being Brighton and Hove Albion. Mills dismisses this, a man with his very specific set of skills knows that anybody can edit a Wikiepdia entry. But then The Argus’ best football reporter, Brian Owen tweets to say he expects Jahanbakhsh to go to Brighton. Mills believes Owen….but that won’t save him.

A photo of Jahanbakhsh at the Amex surfaces
Mills comes across a photo of Jahanbakhsh with Winstanley on the pitch at the Amex. Mills quickly dismisses this clue however – the American Express Executive lounge, built in the summer of 2017 in the south east corner of the stadium, isn’t in the background. This is an old photo from Jahanbakhsh’s previous visit to the Amex.

 


Jahanbakhsh is on a flight – to Austria
Jahanbakhsh adds a post to his Instagram story. He’s on a plane. Mills notices that the interior is that of an Austrian Airlines flight. He searches flight records, concluding that that Jahanbakhsh is on Austrian Airlines flight OS872 that left Tehran bound for Vienna 30 minutes after the Instagram post. He’s heading to Austria. Mills wonders why?

Three reasons to go to Vienna
Mills concludes that there are four possible reasons Jahanbakhsh was flying from Tehran to Vienna. One – he is joining Leicester City, who are due to tour there a day later. Two – he is flying onwards to Amsterdam from there to return to training with AZ on the Monday. Three – there is another connecting flight to Heathrow, and he is Brighton bound. Four – he’s forgotten stuff, like the weight in the hand of a gun that’s loaded and one that’s not. It’s what happens when you sit behind a desk.

 


A private jet leaves Shoreham for the Netherlands
Mills discovers that a day before Jahanbakhsh boarded his flight from Tehran to Vienna, a private jet left Shoreham for Lelystad which is the nearest airport to Alkmaar in the afternoon and returned in the evening. Had the Albion sent a private delegation to the Netherlands to push through a deal, as they did a year previously with Jose Izquierdo’s move from Club Brugge?

Jahanbakhsh’s brother follows the Albion on Instagram
Mills is alerted to the fact that the official Brighton and Hove Albion Instagram account has gained a new follower – Jahanbakhsh’s brother.

 


Jahanbakhsh sees Amsterdam for the last time?
Mills discovers that Jahanbakhsh is in Amsterdam. But is he there for the last time? His latest Instagram story with the caption “Seeing you for the last time?” suggests so.

 


Jahanbakhsh – and his agent – board another flight
Another story surfaces on Instagram of Jahanbakhsh on another flight – this time with a mystery man. Mills recognises the man as Jahanbakhsh’s agent and the flight appears to be on a KLM plane based on the armrest in the background. Two KLM flights have left Amsterdam bound for Britian since the story first appeared, both heading for Heathrow.

 


He’s not in London – he’s in Paris
It wouldn’t be a Taken movie without a twist. This one isn’t quite as good as Mills’ ex-wife’s new husband framing him for murder, but Mills was probably more shocked when he sees Jahanbakhsh’s next Instagram post. It is a picture of Jahanbakhsh with the caption “New adventure starts from here” while he is stood in a street that Mills deduces to be Paris. How did he wind up in the French capital, when it seemed so certain he was bound for Heathrow? Mills job has made him aware (not paranoid), so he soon works out why. When Izquierdo signed, the Colombian had to have his visa issued by a British Embassy on foreign soil, the easiest option being Paris. Mills concludes that Jahanbakhsh must have flown to Britain to apply for a work permit and sign documents, then back to France to pick up his visa, after which he could reenter England and be legally entitled to work there.

The British Embassy is shut on a Sunday
Mills wonders how long the visa issuing process will take, when he stumbles across an alarming fact. Nearly as alarming as being kidnapped while on a family holiday in Istanbul. The Embassy is shut on a Sunday. Why has Jahanbakhsh arrived there on a day when he won’t be able to secure his visa? Returning to the Paris Instagram photo, Mills works out it was taken around the corner from Palais Garnier Opera House, which is a six minute walk from the Embassy. Is Jahanbakhsh staying in the vicinity to head to the Embassy as soon as it opens – 8.30am Monday morning – to get a visa that will allow him to become a Brighton player?

 

 


Jahanbakhsh boards another private flight
The next day and Jahanbakhsh is soon on another flight according to his Instagram. Mills is able to deduce that it is a private jet and from the interior, concludes it is a Beech 400A Beechjet. Checking departures from Paris, he discovers that a Beechjet has taken off – destination Britain. Mills tracks this flight using Flight Radar. If it is heading towards the East Midlands, the game is over and Jahanbakhsh is Leicester bound. If it lands in the South East, chances are he is heading for the Amex. Cue the dramatic music as Mills watching the plane land at……Biggin Hill Airport in Surrey – a mere hour drive from Brighton.

 


Jahanbakhsh is spotted in Hove
Mills is nothing but thorough – the plane landing nearer to Brighton that Leicester isn’t enough. So he uses his ability to hack surveillance to discover that a man wearing the exact clothes that Jahanbakhsh was wearing on his flight to Biggin Hill and a man who looks suspiciously like his agent have been spotted in Hove. Jahanbakhsh is in Brighton, and a few hours later he will be officially announced as an Albion player.

With Mills’ job of hunting Jahanbakhsh down, he returns to retirement and vows never to make another Taken movie again.

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One thought on “Taken 4 – The Hunt for Alireza Jahanbakhsh

  • July 31, 2018 at 2:13 am
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    Lol. This was good, pretty much…

    Reply

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