Where’s Percy Tau? The November 2018 Edition
If you are a fan of Brighton and Hove Albion on Facebook, then you can’t have failed to notice the overriding question that gets asked on virtually every single update the club offers – Where’s Percy Tau?
Chris Hughton’s pre-game press conference – where’s Percy Tau? Maty Ryan loves playing for the Brighton fans – where’s Percy Tau? Under 23s pick up another three points – where’s Percy Tau? The lovely Jodie Brett scores for the women – where’s Percy Tau? Job opportunity washing the players laundry – where’s Percy Tau?
Our new-found South African followers don’t seem to have quite grasped the concept yet that Percy Tau can’t actually play for the Albion. He doesn’t qualify for a work permit and won’t do for at least another year unless South Africa have an improbable rise into the top 50 of the FIFA World Rankings.
That’s why he is currently on-loan at Union Saint Gilloise, Tony Bloom’s other club in the Belgian second tier. Not that it stops the endless comments asking where he is, saying he’ll score 100 goals if he plays in the Premier League or that he could rival Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo if Chris Hughton would just give him the chance.
In honour of the relentless enthusiasm of Tau’s South African worshippers, we’ve decided to run a monthly feature that tots up the number of Tau related comments emanating from the southern hemisphere as well as picking out some of the best ones.
So without ado, here’s the first edition of Where’s Percy Tau?
Total number of Percy Tau comments in November 2018: 86
“Percy Tau no.10 is waiting for you..please don’t do shibobos or showboating they will take you to prison for 10 year’s or suspend you 20 games”
Brilliant stuff from this Nhlakanipho Bright, who believes there to be quite a severe punishment for showboating or shibobos, whatever they may be. As far as we aware this is not the case, otherwise Kazenga LuaLua would have spent most of the past decade in jail for crimes other than throwing phones down drains.
“This team needs to get Percy Tau work permit in time because they really missing out on a good player”
As a stand alone comment, this isn’t too bad from Diketso Putu – Tau could well be a really good player. The only problem being that it was posted in response to an article about the women’s team. As one Brighton supporter pointed out in a reply, “This article is about the women’s team. Work permit or not, Tau is not a woman”. Still, Diketso isn’t going to let a little thing like gender get in the way: “never mind that but he is the missing link in that team.” Hope Powell, get him in.
“Tau will take us to top 6 of the Premier League… lion of Judah we worship you. incase you want to fight I’m in South Africa”
Phakisho Thaba thinks that with Tau, we’ll be heading on a European top. He’s in South Africa if anyone fancies a fight about it for thinking that is a little bit optimistic. And if you think a top six spot is farfetched, then avert your gaze for the next one…
“Percy Tau don’t deserve to play this team…he need a team like Barcelona or go to Real Madrid as Ronaldo replacement”
Funnily enough Deejay Phathaphatha Gumbi, we didn’t see Barca or Real knocking down Mamelodi Sundowns’ door for his signature in the summer. And, we could be wrong here, but it seems doubtful that a handful of goals in the Belgian second tier is going to have turned heads at Camp Nou or the Bernabeu.
“And since you got Percy Tau as a player, might as well recruit me as a retailer”
Loving the logic of Ntethelelo Xolani Khaba, who manages to cram a Tau reference into a comment on a post about the Albion’s pop up club shop opening in Churchill Square. Hopefully, Paul Barber sees it and gives Ntethelelo a job.
