7 things we want to see during games at an empty Amex Stadium
The Premier League returns this Saturday when Brighton & Hove Albion host Arsenal at an empty Amex Stadium. It will be football, but not how we know it.
All five of the Albion’s remaining home games will take place behind closed doors. As anyone who has watched the Bundesliga, Serie A or La Liga since their comebacks will know, it’s a very different sport without supporters present.
Some of the staples of match days in front of crowds go out the window. How does a home striker celebrate a goal wildly in front of the away fans for example when there aren’t actually any away fans there?
Not that empty stadiums should change everything. We’ve put together this list of seven things we want to see at Brighton’s remaining home games – even if they are being played out in front of nobody.
FANZONE!
If you are normally in your seat 20 minutes before kick off, then you’ll have heard those famous words. “And now… it’s time for… FANZONE!”
The camera then begins to pan around the crowd for supporters who it suspects might do something entertaining. Nobody ever does, but that is besides the point. It has become a major part of the pre-game build up since the first season at the Amex in 2011-12.
For that reason alone, FANZONE must continue in an empty Amex Stadium. The camera can still focus on those who will actually be in attendance, such as a lingering shot of Andy Naylor typing on a laptop.
Or it could pan to the £20 cardboard cutouts positioned in the East Stand Upper. People are paying enough money for a bit of paper that the least the club could do is show them on the big screen…. it’s FANZONE!
Realistic Crowd Noise
The first few Bundesliga games played behind closed doors were eerily quiet affairs. In recent weeks though, broadcasters and clubs have begun pumping artificial crowd noise into stadiums – with some hilarious results.
Watching the Schalke v Bayer Leverkusen game on Sunday provided an excellent example of how this system should be used. Schalke had employed someone who was a little too trigger happy with the sound effects as quite literally every time Leverkusen touched the ball, the sound of booing would be emitted.
There hasn’t been any confirmation yet as to whether the facility will exist for someone at the Amex to have the power to greet every Arsenal touch with pre-recorded abuse. Sky Sports have however said that they will be adding ‘realistic’ crowd noise to their broadcasts.
To make an empty Amex Stadium sound like it is full, then there are some very obvious noises that Sky will need to add aside from traditional songs.
What do we want to see? “YOU’RE SHIT AAAAAAAHHHHHH” for every visiting goal kick for starters. Homage paid to the bloke in the West Upper with a recreation of his screams of “FUCKING PASS IT FORWARD STEPHENS” every time Dale Stephens gets the ball.
The collective groan that greets every triangle played between Lewis Dunk, Adam Webster and Maty Ryan. And our personal favourite, the sarcastic cheers that greet Glenn Murray finally entering proceedings with 10 minutes left to play when Brighton have needed a goal for the past hour.
“Is this a library,” coming from the away end would also add to the realism – and on this occasion, it would be even more accurate than normal.
Gully out of isolation
One of the more ridiculous Brighton & Hove Albion related newspaper headlines of the past 30 years came in the lead up to the original Arsenal game scheduled for Saturday 15th March.
“Gully, Sammy and Sally to be stood down” it read, as if Brighton’s mascots were members of the armed forces rather than three people dressed in six feet tall seagulls costumes.
Having been in isolation since March 11th, Gully, Sammy and Sally surely cannot have caught coronavirus. That means that they should be allowed out of isolation to attend games in an empty Amex Stadium. Bonus points are available if they spend an hour before the game entertaining the East Stand.
Player escorts kitted up in full PPE
Gully, Sammy and Sally also play an important role in the player’s entrance to the pitch. As do the player escorts, those young children who hold hands with the Albion’s starting XI as they emerge from the tunnel prior to kick off.
Back in the day, being a player escort – or mascot as they were known before corporate language took over – used to be free.
One lucky member of the Junior Seagulls had their name drawn out of a hat for every home game and they would get the honour of accompanying the team onto the pitch.
That of course is no longer the case. Brighton now charge £350 to children who want to walk out with Dunk or whoever is captaining the side that day. For a ‘standard’ player, the cost is just £250.
Is Paul Barber even Paul Barber if he doesn’t try and maintain the presence of player escorts, even in an empty Amex Stadium?
We want to see these player escorts wrapped up in as much PPE as possible – masks, gloves, even a full-on nuclear radiation suit if the need arises.
Anything to ensure that revenue streams are protected and the Albion can continue to rake in hundreds of pounds in exchange for a child walking onto the Amex pitch with the players.
Glenn Murray Stare
There is nothing better than seeing the Glenn Murray Stare given towards away supporters. You know the drill. Murray scores in front of the South Stand. He then runs along the front of the stand very slowly and simply glares in the general direction of the travelling fans gathered there.
It’s the ultimate wind up celebration. Murray put it to best use when Arsenal were beaten 2-1 at the Amex in March 2018. A repeat against the same opponents in the first game behind closed doors wouldn’t go amiss.
Of course, that would require Murray being on the pitch. Graham Potter has been reluctant to use the veteran striker in the 29 games of the Premier League season played so far.
Luckily, Neal Maupay has the same penchant for winding up opposition fans as the man he has replaced in the Brighton starting line up.
Whether it is Maupay, Murray or someone else who scores the goals for Brighton – presuming we actually manage to score of course – we want to see them celebrating wildly in front of an empty South Stand.
Maty Ryan taking half an hour to leave the pitch
Maty Ryan has many endearing features, but one his best attributes is how much he genuinely cares about Brighton and Albion supporters.
That is evidenced after every home game. Ryan takes on a circular lap of the Amex, applauding every corner. Sometimes he stops for a chat for fans. He has even brought out bags full of gloves, old shirts and training kit to give to young supporters in the stands.
No Brighton player ever did that when we were paying players £1000 a week in League One, let alone a Premier League superstar who earns a million pounds every six months as part of his £45,000 a week contract.
As Sky and the Premier League have said, the show must go on. And so must Ryan’s laps of honour, even if there is nobody to hand out free shirts to anymore.
Richard Reynolds announcing the attendance
Whenever Richie Reynolds announces the day’s attendance at the Amex, we all know it is a fabricated figure. Rather than use the number of people who have piled through the turnstiles, Brighton instead follow Arsenal’s lead and use tickets sold to massage and boost the figures.
This has in the past led to some ridiculous discrepancies between how many people the Albion say are in attendance and the very real evidence that we see in front of our eyes – the best of which came when Wigan Athletic visited the Amex in the 2014-15 season.
Results and performances under Sami Hyypia were already leading to people to shun a Tuesday night at the football. Only around 16,000 bothered to show for the November clash between two relegation threatened teams with vast swathes of empty seats littering the Amex. The club still announced the attendance as 23,044, which was greeted with very audible laughter from the crowd.
Hopefully, the club will continue the fake news approach to attendances. Reynolds announcing, “Today’s attendance is 30,371 – thank you for your fantastic support,” with 85 minutes played in front of an empty Amex Stadium is the sort of nonsense we can all get behind.
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