Dan Burn standing next to tall things
Dan Burn is tall. Very tall. Anyone who saw the recent photo of him next to Aaron Lennon during Brighton’s 1-1 draw with Burnley couldn’t have failed to be amused. He looked like a giant standing over a naughty child.
In order to celebrate Burn’s height, footballing ability and his general popularity – he was voted our WeAreBrighton.com Player of the Month for August after all – we’ve decided to put together this collection of photos of him stood next to tall things.
Aaron Lennon
This might be one of our favourite Albion photos ever, certainly since Liam Dickinson was photographed in The Sun carrying a comatose girl down West Street at 1am on a Tuesday morning after a Carnage Pub Crawl. The best thing about it is that while it would be easy to edit the picture in order to make the height difference appear even more ridiculous, there’s absolutely no need to do so.
So it's over 48 hours since this picture first surfaced and I still can't get over Dan Burn looking like Treebeard and Aaron Lennon being one of the Hobbits #BHAFC pic.twitter.com/Sa7rLNo0K2
— We Are Brighton (@wearebrighton) September 16, 2019
The Shard
Standing 1,016 feet high, the Shard is the tallest building in the United Kingdom, the tallest building in the European Union and the sixth-tallest building in Europe overall behind a load of skyscrapers in Russia. And while the views from the top may be spectacular (even if the price of a cocktail would make even Paul Barber blush), as far as we are aware the Shard has never had a tweet dedicated to it by Manchester City for a breathtaking piece of control. Nor has it been applauded by Sergio Aguero.
Hagrid
Rubeus Hagrid is a half-giant, half-human who is the gamekeeper and Keeper of Keys and Grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He helps Harry, Ron and Hermione through their time in education as well as playing an important role in defeating Lord Voldermort. Dan Burn would still beat Hagrid in the air though.
The Grand Canyon
One of the great natural wonders of the world, The Grand Canyon is 6,000 metres deep at its deepest point. Yet if Dan Burn was standing there, you’d still see his wonderful little face poking out over the top.
i360
The i360 has been open for three years now and there is still a lot of debate about whether it’s actually been worth the £46m that it cost to build. Visitor numbers have been disappointing, it lost £3.8m in the last financial year and the hope that the attraction would lead to the regeneration of the West Pier have been all but dashed. Oh, and Brighton City Council also contributed a loan of £36.2m towards it, which means that tax payers have effectively funded it. You could have bought nearly 10 Dan Burn’s for that.
Tyrannosaurus rex
One is an apex predator who strikes fear into everyone who sees it. It’s gained legendary status across the world for being one of the most dominant creatures to ever walk the planet. The other is a tyrannosaurus rex.
AT-AT Walker
A weapon of the Empire, AT-AT Walkers were used by Imperial ground forces to destroy the Rebel’s base on the ice planet of Hoth and then during the Battle of Endor. They were feared throughout the galaxy until those fuzzy little Ewoks realised that if you tied a bit of string between a couple of trees, the AT-AT Walkers would simply trip over them. Thankfully for the Albion, stopping Dan Burn is nowhere near as easy.
Burj Khalifa
Quite why anybody felt the need to build a 2,722 feet skyscraper is beyond us, but then again being gay is punishable by 10 years in prison in Dubai so perhaps we’ll never truly understand what goes on in that part of the world. Anyway, Burj Khalifa is the tallest building in the world and has been since it was completed in 2009. We think Dan Burn is much more impressive.
Mount Everest
Throughout human history, Mount Everest has captured the imagination as the tallest mountain on Earth. It is 29,029 feet which is higher than the cruising altitude of a Boeing 747 and countless people have lost their lives trying to reach the summit. But not Dan Burn. He’s the sort of guy who could come off the pitch at the Amex after 90 minutes and walk up to the top of Everest still wearing his football kit as if it were a Sunday stroll.
Molly Malone’s
Okay, so Molly Malone’s isn’t a tall building. But perhaps having the sizeable figure of Dan Burn stood outside it might prevent Shane Duffy, Dale Stephens and the rest spending so much time in there? Actually, given that Burn was spotted in Burger King at 3am after the Burnley game, perhaps not…